How do you define intimacy? Deeply penetrating connection? Vulnerability? Passion? Release? Erotic Delight? Well, perhaps we can also consider defining it with this fun play on the word:
Intimacy= in-to-me-see
Monogamy and marriage weren’t in my plans as a teenager. This punk-rock-rebel was ready to change the world and had a different future in mind. Then I got sober at the age of 24 and the life of a Buddhist nun gained appeal. So I took Buddhist refuge vows and went on many solitary meditation retreats.
Then I met Marc, in graduate school at Naropa. And something shifted within me.
Here I am. Married for 18 years to this amazing man, I’ve had plenty of ups and downs regarding sex and intimacy. I come from a history of trauma and abuse and miraculously I don’t dwell in that echo chamber.
We are wounded in relationship, we are healed in relationship
Gratefully, today I have amazing sexual satisfaction and ever-expanding opportunities to stretch myself and release into passion and pleasure even more. (Full disclosure, I also have peri-menopausal roller coaster moments that impact my sexuality. With wholehearted presence to this transition in my life, we make it through the difficult moments; it’s both/and).
Believe it or not, being a bright light to intimacy starts with trusting myself to no longer abandon myself. In-to-me-see. If you want to hear more on this topic, tune in now to my interview on Dr. Nancy Moonstarr’s incredible show, ‘A Man’s Guide To Intimacy.’ From her email:
Trust Yourself to No Longer Abandon Yourself
Amy interview, entitled, Trust Yourself to No Longer Abandon Yourself, suggests deep safety and trust begin with your own self’s behavior. Sometimes “cutting” yourself some slack is also involved because of such steep standards that may be impossible to maintain.
Amy is so nakedly vulnerable as she helps men understand a woman’s need for reassurance and pause for a hug at delicate moments. Her past experiences are brought into discussion for you to better understand your beloved.
Amy is a bright light to the world of relationship building in the deepest living sense of being present.
Breathing techniques are introduced for all to practice. Breathing serves to soothe, neutralize and release unwanted tension. Amy also adds a big view of how you may be inter-generationally impacting and healing the world.
It’s not too late for healthy sexuality
Please join me as I’m interviewed by a psychologist, Dr. Nancy Moonstarr along with 20 other experts as part of a series; A Man’s Guide To Intimacy – Open Her Up So She Tells You What She Wants. Together, we focus on men and offer secrets, tips and intimacy advice.
This is an unusual series that allows deep penetration into the body, mind, heart, and soul. This free series starts on November 11th, 2020. A day considered to be especially lucky in love! You can register for ‘A Man’s Guide To Intimacy’
Whew, it’s been stretchy to do this interview, to send this email, to talk about a subject I was not raised talking about openly. My intention is to help anyone with healthy relationships. This particular interview is based on my experience as a heterosexual woman married to a man. I’m owning the fact that this is a heteronormative interview setting. I’m simultaneously acknowledging the reality that man/female sexual relations are not the only valid, normal, intimate relations.
Here’s to being stretchy and if this message helps one person, it is worth the effort!
Warmly,
Amy E
Too bad my current Civil Service job has no opportunities for writing. Lidia Rutger Durrace