surrender to silence & stillness

Why Am I Talking?
When is the last time you let yourself surrender to silence and stillness?

It’s been a minute or so for me, so I’m listening to my na’au (my intuition) and the full-bodied yes that is taking me and my family to Thailand for a 10-day silent meditation retreat here.

Join me (in Spirit) anytime between December 29-January 10 to drop into deep contemplation. Let’s sit in silence and stillness together, even if we are miles apart, together, we shift the drift of dominant culture. Here’s some of my thoughts, influenced by my studies of and transformational interpersonal work in Hawai’i lifeways & healing White Body Supremacy and Somatic Abolitionism.

Dominant Culture has these common characteristics:

Sense of Urgency and Optics
Either/or Thinking
Power Hoarding
Intention to control & dominate nature
Linear understanding where everything is separate

Through our contemplation we can move toward greater Unity and accessing the wisdom of the tender heart, in order to better…

Trust yourself to no longer abandon yourself
Focus on your part in the nightmare
Repair your part and drop stones of resentment
Have faith and joyful commitment in constant trust of the power of prayer to ease the burden and enhance the beauty of everyday life. 
Hold Spirituality in high regard
Change occurs as part of a cycle in nature
Steward the land and live in harmony with nature
Be indigenous to your own heart. 

Thanks to Shawn Murray Brown, PhD & Kekuhi Kealiikanakaoleohaililani.

Take good care of yourselves and spread Aloha. 



Amy Elizabeth Gordon | Relationship Doula
Serving Hawai’i Island and beyond

how to surf

acts of fear

constant trust in the power of prayer

Having the great good fortune of living in Hawai’i, the ocean is a source of great comfort and support. And yet I’ve been in the ocean only twice since I last wrote you. That’s only two times in over a month; that’s highly unusual. And yet I’ve been surfing this whole time. 

Surfing for me is riding the wild waves of a lifey life. It’s knowing which ones will be challenging, yet fun, and which ones do I need to dive under and regain my breath as soon as possible. Lately there’s been some big waves. Personally, we’ve had 2 deaths in the family and prolonged sickness. 

But I rise. Each day. Like a wave. Like a sunrise. Sometimes with gentle grace and rainbows; sometimes with turbulence and obscuration. Always with the presence of the higher power. Don’t forget gravity!

And I surf the waves. Surfing is prayer. Prayer is chanting. Prayer is asking for guidance to be okay in this moment, no matter what, and remember that presence matters and awareness of breath strengthens presence. 

How do I surf when life keeps getting super lifey? I relax and take it easy. I cease fighting anyone or anything. And in turning my life over to a higher power, I find the ability to surf the emotional waves of life without drowning in overwhelm. Breathing and cultivating gratitude are my daily practices.

I’ve learned from Hawai’i lifeways and Mary Kawena Pukui that the Hawaiian has continued to pray in the same wholehearted spirit of his ancestors. With deep devotion. With lively fervor. With constant trust in the power of prayer to ease the burden and enhance the beauty of daily life. 

This inspires me. 

Chanting as a Spiritual Practice

My Buddhist practice includes a chant of aspiration and dedication of merit. 

From the stormy waves of birth, old age, sickness, and death, from the ocean of samsara, may I free all beings.

Buddhist chants, Hawaiian chants, Yoga chants; vital aspects of my spiritual life, an energetic exchange to my higher powers. To give breath as a sacrifice and an offer of my willingness and eagerness to live a more spiritual life. 

Last time I wrote you I included a beautiful Kundalini yoga chant, Akaal, I play daily that has helped hugely with the recent death of my in-laws. Akaal means “Undying” and refers to the soul that is being released. This sound current helps guide the soul to pass out of the earthly realm…

I pray with faith in the constant power of prayer to ease the burden and enhance the beauty of daily life. And from this place of energetic aliveness, I pour into others. My purpose is to be of maximum service and help others liberate from their own suffering, and one key way I do this is in my work with couples and their relational health. 

Special Offer for Relational Health Coaching

Now through the end of the month (November, 2023) I have a special deep dive relational tune-up for you. Message me at [email protected] and let me know what shift you wish to manifest in your primary relationship and I’ll do my level best to guide you there. Mention “deep dive” for the special rate of $333 for a 3-hour Discovery & Breakthrough session. (Regularly $1,000).

Take good care of yourselves and spread Aloha. 


Amy E

Amy Elizabeth Gordon | Relationship Doula
Serving Hawai’i Island and beyond

You matter. Your relationships matter.

clear your mind  
open your heart  
rekindle your spirit  
energize your life

contemplate your true nature


Where I’m from, my parent’s love for me was rooted in worry, anxiety and dread.

  • “I’m anxious to see you.” (Mom said each time I planned a trip home)
  • “Be careful.” (Mom uttered every time I left the house)
  • “You’re too sensitive.” (Dad chided me to be more tough — so I didn’t get hurt so much)

And yet was I was told, repeatedly, was that they loved me and they wanted me to be happy. Yet the energetic exchange was negatively charged. 

In my adulthood, through the journey of conscious partnership, connected parenting, and ongoing sobriety, I’ve learned a few replacements:

  • wonder replaces worry
  • delight replaces doubt
  • rejoice replaces regret

And thus I return to my true nature. The childlike wonder, delight and ability to rejoice is still in me. And you, too. Experience liberation from negativity. When we quit worrying we allow space for wonder to emerge. Worry is praying for things we don’t want. Free up that energy with a glance up at the cloud or the stars right now.

Pause. Breathe. Reset.

These extraordinary benefits of right living — experiencing daily delight, wonder and rejoicing in the sober mind and tender heart–become rather ordinary and mundane.

So instead of consuming (I just deleted more social media apps from my phone), I’m contemplating my true nature. If you’re anything like me, social media drums up old love exchanges: worry, doubt, regret. 

Clearing up clutter of distractions and releasing the pinch of judgement and tech anxiety brings relief. Clarity of mind and openness of heart are glimpses of everyday enlightenment. This, dear one, is a worthwhile journey. I’m delighted to be your guide from the side. 

My master’s degree is in Contemplative Psychology. To contemplate is to allow the divine in. Years of practice working with my own mind and tenderizing my own heart cultivates bodhicitta: enlightened mind and awakened heart (same thing).

And so it is, Aloha Friday.

Your matter. 

Your relationships matter. 

With tenderness,


step out of suffer


Aloha Dear One,

There is so much suffering in the world. Sometimes it seems like there is more than in the past, but today is yesterday. Perhaps the difference is we are more aware of the amount of suffering squeezed into any given slice of time. 

It is possible to step out of suffer.

Today’s message is intended to get you resourced with a veritable plethora of healing opportunities. Choose one and dig deep, or choose many and aim high.

Please pay special attention to the final offering, a special offering to work 1:1 with me through the end of the year (I have 2 spots left). 

Healing Trauma

Collective Trauma Summit starts Sunday, September 19th. Experts freely share poetry, talks, research, music and more. The Collective Trauma Online Summit takes place in partnership with the Pocket Project, a nonprofit organization and global initiative that aims to restore the fragmentation in our communities and societies by addressing and supporting the integration of collective and intergenerational trauma.

Relationship Tools

HeartWise Academy offers weekly affordable webinars to enhance the quality of your primary relationship. My offering will be October 5th. Details as follows:

Are you finding yourself stuck in dissatisfying personal and relationship patterns? Join the HeartWise Community to gain fresh perspectives and learn helpful skills and tools.

HeartWise Relationship Webinars: Tools for Thriving Together: Season 2

Participate live or watch the recording at your leisure.

This series will be held on Tuesdays from 7 to 8 p.m. Mountain Time, and recorded via Zoom.

$22/couple per session or $100 for all 6 sessions

Anniversary Podcast

Give Your Life Some Love podcast from the founders of the HeartWise Academy featuring me and my husband, Marc, on our 17th anniversary (in 2019). We share simple ways they connect, strengthen and align, as a couple, with our children and extended family, in a transformative manner of deep respect and Aloha.

Learning Aloha

Hālau ʻŌhiʻa, Hawaiʻi lifeways stewardship studies is opening a new cohort, starting October 10, 2021. 

Distinctions of Extraordinary Living Masterclass on Energy from August with Kekuhi Kealiikanakaole (the founder of above program, Hālau ʻŌhiʻa)

Distinctions of Extraordinary Living Masterclass on Interdependence from last Friday, September 17th.  

Diving Deep into Relational Health

My live Calendly link to sign up for a free heart-storming session to discuss any of the above options or to explore working 1:1 with me at a special discounted rate through the end of the year. 

 Healing the planet, one relationship at a time. 

You Matter. Your Relationships Matter.



the road to hell is paved with good intentions


Aloha Dear One, 

My intentions are pure, or so I think. But you know what the road to hell is paved with, right?

We may have the best ideas and hold the right intentions, but what is the conduct? What are the results? 

While the world judges us by our actions; we judge ourselves by our intentions. 

For example, when I take an honest look at some past behaviors, 

  • My intention wasn’t to make love to a married man, it was to feel pleasure and release. But my action? Sleeping with a married man.
  • My intention wasn’t to steal money from my job, it was to treat my friends to a good time at Disney and enjoy the expansive wave of generosity. But my action?  Stealing from my employer.
  • My intention wasn’t to drive our family into bankruptcy, it was to expand my knowledge of myself and others. But my actions meant I continued to spend beyond my earnings, enrolling in more coaching and leadership programs and traveling from the middle of the Pacific Ocean weighted by major credit card balances.

It is important to note that I’ve made amends for my transgressions. And I’ve forgiven myself and refused to blame others. And I received support on this journey of transformation.

My intention is to be a good and trustworthy person, my mind craves peace, and my heart’s desire is to experience joy. Yet when actions don’t align with intentions, it is impossible to trust self or others.

There is no peace or joy when I put my head to the pillow full of guilt, regret, or shame. 

Luckily, there is an alternative to this type of (self-generated) suffering. 

The time is now to re-imagine our relationships with Self, Other, Spirit. Today, I act in greater alignment with my intentions.  Yet I’m far from perfect. But here are 3 simple steps that help me immensely. 

  1. Pause. 
  2. Breathe. 
  3. Reset. 

Pause. Breathe. Reset. 

  1. Pause and consider your intentions today. 
  2. Breathe sweetly and exhale completely. 
  3. Reset the story you tell yourself to align your actions and your intentions and live with greater integrity. 

Let me know how this is for you and what support looks like.

Big love & tenderness,


let chi come to the needle


During an acupuncture treatment, I found myself bracing against the next needle insertion. There were two students working on me, one very aggressive, the other more mild in her approach. I spoke up. 

“It feels like two different people are treating me and I am guarding against this experience.”

Wow, miracles occur when authentic voice speaks and present moment awareness guides the next event. 

Number one, in speaking my truth, I relaxed. I trusted myself to no longer abandon myself when something is not okay. I released the bracing and made myself more ready to receive the treatment.

Number two, in shifting their desire to fix, the students stimulated the healing process, and, lo and behold, the treatment mellowed in its intensity, and became more healing in the process.

And number three, in suggesting another approach, the instructor recommended that instead of moving the needle around in search of chi, they “let the chi come to the needle.”

This message, let the chi come to the needle powerfully shifted the moment.

Less effort, more being.

Less striving, more thriving.

Less seeking, more receiving.

Let connection come to you by learning this simple practice of surrender. Don’t try so hard. We live in a codependent society. The worst in me, when joined with the worst in you, brings a messy glimpse of reality. Trying to fix makes a mess. Trying to heal brings resistance. Allowing the other’s true essence to shine and connect with that is where meaningful relationships are born, and thrive.

You are surrounded by healing energy all the time. Your angels and ancestors await your request to serve you in your highest good. The healing power within you is ready to come to the needle.

The person inserting the needle does not need to try so hard. He doesn’t need to stir the needle in search of the tug or zing of the evidence of chi. The chi is there, waiting, patiently for space to show up. For safety to emerge within so the healing can transpire.

If you are looking for connection, sit back. Stir your own energy field and find stillness. Trust yourself to no longer abandon yourself. Bring your best self forth. Shine. Your magnetism will create just the connections you need. And just what your heart desires.

Try it. You matter. Your relationships matter.

Here are my take-aways: may they serve you as well.

*Let inspiration come to the pen, the canvas. (show up to write or to paint)

*Let connection come to the soul. (show up in sacred stillness & silence)

*Let chi come to the needle. (show up to serve without the agenda to “fix”)