focus in your own hula hoop

focus

extraordinary definition of focus: laser love on the center of interest

If you are anything like me, you reach a familiar pain point when you allow the wave of lack of acceptance to wash over you. When we spend so much energy wanting others to be different than they are and wanting circumstances to be different than they are; we end up generating our own suffering.

When you focus in your own hula hoop, you have the opportunity to shine laser love on the center of interest–your own precious mind and tender heart. You can change the channel on your discursive thoughts.

Tell yourself, I’m exactly where I need to be. I have complete and utter love and acceptance of myself. And, I have a desire to upgrade my life completely. It is both/and.

This month let’s focus on keeping that laser love REAL.

Keep It Real: resourced, engaged, aware, loving.

When you connect with someone else, come from a place of being resourced. For example, when I’ve had ample sleep, activity, nutrition, exercise, I’m more SANE.

From this place of sanity, I feel resourced. I enter into connection with others with an abundance of sanity and energy to engage. Engagement stokes enthusiasm. Put down your phone when someone walks into the room, and feel the energy swirling in the space between.

Become aware of your influence and realize you matter.

You matter. Your relationships matter.

Keeping an intimate relationship is challenging, and many people face difficulties in doing so. In the current research, within the context of an evolutionary theoretical framework, the most important difficulty was “Fading away enthusiasm,” followed by “Long work hours” and “Lack of personal time and space.” 

How you show up in the space matters. How you respond to others matters. You matter. Your relationships matter. Stoke inner fire of enthusiasm. Eliminate long work hours (I’m going to sign off now and watch Ted Lasso with my beloved, Marc!). Commit your focus to being more loving. Set this intention as you go about your day. Set a timer on your phone.

My timer on my phone says, “Pause at the tiny voice.”

This is a gentle reminder from a couple of years ago when I began trusting my tender heart more fully. At that time, it was a tiny voice. It was God. Now, I can honestly say, that voice is more audible, more clear, more resonant, and more comforting than my previous inner mental chatter.

You can now change the channel away from discursive thoughts of woe is me or he shouldn’t have done that to a pure voice of my True Nature.

Thank you God.

let chi come to the needle

allow

During an acupuncture treatment, I found myself bracing against the next needle insertion. There were two students working on me, one very aggressive, the other more mild in her approach. I spoke up. 

“It feels like two different people are treating me and I am guarding against this experience.”

Wow, miracles occur when authentic voice speaks and present moment awareness guides the next event. 

Number one, in speaking my truth, I relaxed. I trusted myself to no longer abandon myself when something is not okay. I released the bracing and made myself more ready to receive the treatment.

Number two, in shifting their desire to fix, the students stimulated the healing process, and, lo and behold, the treatment mellowed in its intensity, and became more healing in the process.

And number three, in suggesting another approach, the instructor recommended that instead of moving the needle around in search of chi, they “let the chi come to the needle.”

This message, let the chi come to the needle powerfully shifted the moment.

Less effort, more being.

Less striving, more thriving.

Less seeking, more receiving.

Let connection come to you by learning this simple practice of surrender. Don’t try so hard. We live in a codependent society. The worst in me, when joined with the worst in you, brings a messy glimpse of reality. Trying to fix makes a mess. Trying to heal brings resistance. Allowing the other’s true essence to shine and connect with that is where meaningful relationships are born, and thrive.

You are surrounded by healing energy all the time. Your angels and ancestors await your request to serve you in your highest good. The healing power within you is ready to come to the needle.

The person inserting the needle does not need to try so hard. He doesn’t need to stir the needle in search of the tug or zing of the evidence of chi. The chi is there, waiting, patiently for space to show up. For safety to emerge within so the healing can transpire.

If you are looking for connection, sit back. Stir your own energy field and find stillness. Trust yourself to no longer abandon yourself. Bring your best self forth. Shine. Your magnetism will create just the connections you need. And just what your heart desires.

Try it. You matter. Your relationships matter.

Here are my take-aways: may they serve you as well.

*Let inspiration come to the pen, the canvas. (show up to write or to paint)

*Let connection come to the soul. (show up in sacred stillness & silence)

*Let chi come to the needle. (show up to serve without the agenda to “fix”)

Extraordinary Masterclass starting soon

If you are longing to recharge and refresh your relationships, each and every one of them, I’m here to guide you. I wholeheartedly believe you can experience relational health when you are ready to commit to the journey of Moonshot Magic and write a new ending to this chapter of your life.

Here you will find opportunity for an attitude adjustment, greater accountability, as well as endless inspiration. Feel the shift away from longing and lack toward a tender-hearted and powerful mindset.Is now your time?

If so, please join the Moonshot Magic Movement which includes the live & interactive monthly Relational Health Masterclass Series. I’m willing and able to take a stand for you are your relations. Are you?

Here’s a quick 3 min video invite to the: Moonshot Magic Movement https://vimeo.com/500220253 

This membership is a way to do your future self a favor. It’s a way to uplift your family. It’s a fantastic return on investment. Reserve your spot now to stay committed and take an unwavering stand for yourself and the more beautiful world your heart knows is possible. 

Here’s some helpful definitions to keep in mind:·       
Moonshot: We put our thinking minds to work and create the life we desire. We can commitment to something extraordinary by declaring what we will do and when we will do. Think effort.·       
Magic: When we are constantly striving, we create a life of strife. We must surrender to win and invite magic. Ask for support from something greater than yourself; inviting ease, flow and grace. Feel ease.  ·       
Movement: When we want change, it is important to connect with others on a similar path of transformation. Enjoy the benefits of an alchemical mix and energetic exchange of excellence. Know belonging. 

Monthly membership is the best way to get the my offerings at an affordable rate. Recordings of the monthly masterclass are available if you can’t make the noon Pacific time on the 3rd Friday of every month.Membership also includes Q & A office hours with Amy E, and special rates to online and in person retreats and much more…

regular membership dues of $40 per month:
 https://amyelizabethgordon.com/membership

sponsorship option of $60/month:  
https://amyelizabethgordon.com/sponsorship

scholarship option of $20 per month:  
https://amyelizabethgordon.com/scholarship 

BEST BONUS EVER: Sign-up by Friday and get a bonus laser love coaching call with me. Here we will heart-storm and create your personal plan of action.

This is spiritual work, but the spiritual life is not a theory, we have to live it. It requires both work (Moonshot) and faith (Magic). It’s the both/and. Together, we rise to a new vibration of living, beyond petty frustrations and sleepless nights. We go beyond surviving and we enjoy thriving.

I’m honored to support you on this journey of the heart. 

With warm Aloha, Amy E 

trust yourself first

trust

Trust yourself to no longer abandon yourself. This is foundational. This really is an invitation to an extraordinary life.

So what exactly gets in the way of this extraordinary life? Pests. Erosion. Termites erode the foundation. Termites like mistrust, fear, and reactivity eat away at trust and erode the integrity of the foundation of our relationships.

For example, mistrust happens when social contracts are broken and neglected. You must heal your agreements with others, and start by trusting yourself first.

Lack of safety habitually haunts those of us familiar with traumatic events, thereby leading to exaggerated startle responses and over-reactive nervous systems create an uptight experience of the chapters of life.

3 things we can do

  1. We can learn to calm ourselves down in stressful situations.

2. We can, indeed, break the spells that bind us.

3. And we can rewrite the ending to this chapter of our lives.

pause. breathe. reset.

As I’m sitting here, I’m experiencing gratitude for my practice of Pause. Breathe. Reset. I’m so relieved to relax more fully into my tender heart. Even though it can seem scary as hell to not defend against the pain and suffering of the world.

And I’m so excited to share with you what I’ve learned on this extraordinary journey of resilience, compassion and service. I’m poised to share insights from my own addiction recovery, relational healing and contemplative practice.

Here are some touchstones of what we can do to trust more fully:

touchstones to trust

Be the prayer

Allow and commit to deep listening

Find your identity inside yourself

Be very honest, open, and straight with yourself

Learn compassionate self-control

Learn to contain your own energy

Cultivate inner contentment

If there is a choice, choose the positive

Identify your destiny and serve

Cultivate character, commitment, and grace

Balance yourself, so you don’t need to be compensated from the outside

Give up manipulation and control

When you want something , get clear, ask, be calm, and let it come

Develop a meditative mind to wait and see what comes to you

Receive what comes

Let go of what goes

Don’t chase after anything

Cultivate a tender heart of forgiveness

Develop a relationship with a working God that dwells and breathes within you

(thanks to Yogi Bhajan for inspiring these ideas)

here’s what’s next

Get support with a Daily Tracker to trust yourself to develop C.O.R.E. Compassion & Sign up for the email list if you haven’t already here

trust

Tune in to the monthly variety show: what matters most in relational health on the 2nd Saturday of the month at noon Pacific Time. Check out the emails for the most current Zoom link.

Join me in my Relational Health Masterclass Series starting next week. watch email for details and further inspiration.

let me know what landed for you…and why…email me at [email protected]

cross divides, break silence

Incompatibility, bridging differences

We gotta talk. We get to talk about race. We need to have the painful conversations and heed the call to action for the truth to rise to the top. 

Dwelling in the spirit of solidarity, empathy and understanding, we are coming together, sharing our stories, and exploring what matter most: relational health.

In my transformational memoir, Moonshot: aim high, dive deep, live an extraordinary life, I get real with my experience of growing up American. Here I’m taking a brave leap to share a few painful blinks from my personal history. Once again, this is real, raw, vulnerable. Caveat.

I grew up in America, in the South, wallowing in the soup of an us/them mentality. I didn’t understand this mentality of inequality. And I never felt a sense of belonging.

At the age of 15, I was raped by a skinhead; a white supremacist. This event marked the loss of my virginity, my innocence. Based on the religion of my upbringing, I feared I was going to hell. 

At the age of 16, while seriously drunk, I walked alone in a neighborhood, and I was assaulted by 5 black men; my head cracked open with a lead pipe or tire iron, I know not what. I fumbled, bled, escaped. Fortunately, I went to the hospital for treatment, stitches and concussion protocol. 

At the age of 18, I lived in the student ghetto in Gainesville and was robbed by a black man who sold my bike for crack. I yelled to him, “Excuse me sir, that’s my bike,” I protested, futilely, all-the-while addressing the inherent worth and dignity in every human being, in this man (hence the term, “sir.”)

Here’s the most painful part: In each instance of trauma, abuse and violation, I blamed myself. Ouch. I never pressed charges. I never trusted the system. I never trusted myself. 

Even when I knew the perpetrator/the rapist/the skinhead. I knew his name, where he lived; I still kept quiet. I didn’t seek support. Even with a line-up of other criminals, I couldn’t trust the system to provide justice. I didn’t seek support. Even with

The American Dominant Culture impacts lives. I suffered trauma and I thought it was karma. For years I warped spiritual principles into a savvy and sophisticated intellectualized approach toward overcoming these transgressions. That’s a fancy way of saying, I blamed myself. No more.

  • Have you ever felt you need to keep the silence and suffer? 
  • Have you ever felt outrage at the lack of equality and empathy in our dominant culture?
  • Have you ever felt that the true essence of power (self-sovereignty) is needed now more that ever?

What can you do? Trust yourself to no longer abandon yourself. Be the silence breaker. Lean into the difficult conversations and be the change you wish to see in the world. 

CALL TO ACTION: Seek support. Know belonging. Cultivate resilience.

My journey of recovery and transformation began 30 years ago, and continues to this day. I realized I no longer needed to keep the silence and suffer. I needed, and continue to need, spiritual help.

I ask you to gather with me on the second Saturday of the month, to breathe, to engage in the ritual of building an altar of awareness, to celebrate personal Moonshots and release what is no longer needed. 

This month, January 9th of the new year of 2021, the theme is TRUST.

Variety Show with Amy E ZOOM ROOM starts on at noon Pacific Time.

  • We will engage in a short ritual of connection and conscious breath-work
  • We will invite a few moments to celebrate being alive and become fully embodied with laughter yoga
  • We will explore the power of Moonshot Magic, through declaring our intentions and acknowledging a power greater than ourselves, and continue releasing the pinch of Dominant Culture 
  • We will entertain special guests to explore what matters most in relational health with greater ease, joy and earnestness.

Together, we rise.  

You Matter. Your Relationships Matter. 

Aloha Everyday: How to agree to disagree

silence

Agree to disagree and you choose happiness over righteousness.

Every moment I expect my husband to think or feel or act in a way other than how he is presently thinking, feeling or acting, I’m basically generating my own suffering.

Whenever I want my mother-in-law to quit talking to me about her ideas for a death with dignity departure from this earthly plane, I’m basically shutting my heart down.

Each time I beat up on myself for not handling my life with the greatest ease, flow, and grace, I’m basically creating conditions for greater dis-ease, constriction, and disgust.

Relational health requires intentional communication.

I trust my husband is doing the best he can in this moment. He is operating from his own value system. We all are. I can agree to disagree with what he is doing and I can choose how to respond.

Therein lies tremendous freedom and peace.

I can be quiet. Silence is golden at times.

I can say, “You might be right.” Happiness trumps righteousness.

I can advocate for his greater well-being by validating his experience. (This is higher level relational mastery. Set up a call with me to discuss.)

Essentials needed for getting along with others: acceptance, tenderness, forgiveness

How far should you compromise? Trust yourself to no longer abandon your values. How much connection and solitude do you really need? Trust your gut. Get quiet for a moment. Breathe. Each day may be different. Trust that when you no longer disappoint yourself, you are honoring the most important relationship you will ever have.

Should you never argue? If you are human, and you live on this planet, and you have a beating heart, you will find moments of contraction, difficulty, and the possibility of an argument. That’s okay. It’s how you respond that matters most. Release the heat. Fan the flame of acceptance. Return to calm. Allow your heart to be tender. Practice forgiveness.

And when’s the best time to have heart to heart intentional dialogue? As soon as possible. Face to face, heart to heart, tender eye gaze to tender eye gaze if possible. Should you desire to learn how to have this intentional dialogue, click here to set up a free call with me to see if coaching is a viable option for you.

We can learn to agree that we each have different values. How do we hang on to those values? We must trust ourselves to no longer abandon ourselves. We must trust. Period.

Join us monthly in a free virtual gathering to focus on What Matters Most.

Here’s the Zoom Link for the Second Saturday Show of What Matters Most https://us02web.zoom.us/j/8089363733?pwd=VDlQR01SQ1YxbEYrQVhBMGowR2Q2UT09