sober creative rhythms


as I’m sitting here, experiencing tight hips
pondering persistent persnickety pain
no longer cussing on my cushion
my tolerance for discomfort expanding including heavy neck
invariably inviting greater pleasure, too, below the head

running and walking the track at sunrise
indeed aware that motion is lotion
the inner massage
so even when don’t feel like doing it
cultivate drive
devote to health

this births discipline
fuels creative fire

where’d like to be is feeling as good as yesterday
mother’s day,

breaking a 38-hour family

fast with a delicious meal
quality time

of family love

one thing can help: pace
feelin’ good doesn’t mean need overextend
been there, done that, no more

what matters most is that i write to heal
as a sober creative woman of integrity
i send this telegraph out to the Universe
God hears it
Goddess knows it
Grace bestows it(self)

one thing i appreciate is the message from my therapist,
“Amy you get to put good things into your body.”
I almost cried.

wish i’d heard it way back when
grateful i heard it now…
finally i get to pass it along

you get to put good things in your body

it means a fast?
from food?
from media?
from work?


it means putting

good motion in your day
now i pause and go

mail a birthday card to a beloved friend
better than text

surrender to silence & stillness

Why Am I Talking?
When is the last time you let yourself surrender to silence and stillness?

It’s been a minute or so for me, so I’m listening to my na’au (my intuition) and the full-bodied yes that is taking me and my family to Thailand for a 10-day silent meditation retreat here.

Join me (in Spirit) anytime between December 29-January 10 to drop into deep contemplation. Let’s sit in silence and stillness together, even if we are miles apart, together, we shift the drift of dominant culture. Here’s some of my thoughts, influenced by my studies of and transformational interpersonal work in Hawai’i lifeways & healing White Body Supremacy and Somatic Abolitionism.

Dominant Culture has these common characteristics:

Sense of Urgency and Optics
Either/or Thinking
Power Hoarding
Intention to control & dominate nature
Linear understanding where everything is separate

Through our contemplation we can move toward greater Unity and accessing the wisdom of the tender heart, in order to better…

Trust yourself to no longer abandon yourself
Focus on your part in the nightmare
Repair your part and drop stones of resentment
Have faith and joyful commitment in constant trust of the power of prayer to ease the burden and enhance the beauty of everyday life. 
Hold Spirituality in high regard
Change occurs as part of a cycle in nature
Steward the land and live in harmony with nature
Be indigenous to your own heart. 

Thanks to Shawn Murray Brown, PhD & Kekuhi Kealiikanakaoleohaililani.

Take good care of yourselves and spread Aloha. 



Amy Elizabeth Gordon | Relationship Doula
Serving Hawai’i Island and beyond

Cut thru chaos

trifecta of bliss

Are you more mind-full or mindful in this moment?

Hello again. Thank you for reading my updates. Your time is just as valuable as mine and my purpose for sharing how I’m negotiating my energy on a daily basis as a relational health coach is to uplift you to have extraordinary relations with Self, Other, and Spirit.

Last week’s email update was full of personal challenges and I wanted to take a moment to share a bit how I cope. Here’s a beautiful chant I play daily that has helped hugely with the recent death of my father-in-law.


The key to all of it, the “so muchness” of what is going on, is to be mindful. To pause and notice. And in moments of awareness, to notice my noticing.

How do I feel in my body temple now? What are the sensations of my present experience? Coming back to my senses is key in being grounded in the present moment. Turning my life over to a higher power is key in surfing the emotional waves of life without drowning in overwhelm. Breathing and cultivating gratitude are my daily practices.

I know what being mind-full is like. For me it’s that itty-bitty-shitty-committee that wakes me at 2am demanding I think about life, death, and every possible worry in between. Shifting into mindful consciousness is when I can take the reign of my magnifying mind and focus on gratitude and embodied presence.

Here’s a few nudges to cut thru chaos in these simple ways:
1. breath practice
2. gratitude practice
3. media diet

1. breath practice

breathing in, i know i am breathing in
breathing out, i know i am breathing out


mind wanders to the next worrisome thought
discursive thoughts distort serenity
habitual hydraulics of hypersensitivity hijack wellbeing

return again to a mindfulness breath practice

breathing in
breathing out


2. gratitude practice

craft a daily gratitude list:
(for example):
1) sobriety
2) sunrise in shades of pink and purple
3) full moon eclipsed by clouds

A-Z gratitude practice
what starts with “a” that you appreciate?
typically you’ll fall asleep before arriving at “z”

upon awakening smile before feet kiss the earth

continue the gratitude practice by writing 100 things you appreciate about yourself. Yes, you. A hard, worthwhile endeavor for all of us. In this, you’ll be overriding the tormentor left over from yesterday (your self critic). And cultivating a higher Self of resilience, compassion and service who is tender, powerful and generous. 

3. media diet

Watching media diet is important also. Gently asking, am I tethered to my devices in a way that they control and demand my attention or are my devices on my leash, able to be trained and contained?

My attention is precious. So is yours. Harness it now.

Take good care of yourselves and spread Aloha. 

Elements of Everyday Enlightenment


Aloha Dear One, 

I’ve been metabolizing a lot of grief lately. 

Recently, a beloved colleague, friend and sister-in-sobriety died of ALS. Diagnosed in January, her body shut down rapidly as I imagine her mind sharpened and her heart widened. She gave us, our family, all of whom loved and adored her, a tremendous and bewildering gift. The gift of her confidence. Her powerful knowing that, “in the bigger picture” she was okay.

That the insight of knowing that she is enough, this world is enough, and we are all enough was a powerful reminder of how much we, collectively, struggle with scarcity mindsets. Lack energy breeds fear and keeps us isolated.

I want you to know I see your brilliant sanity. Your enough-ness. And I’m ready to circle up with you virtually. Ready to meet regularly in Zoom through the end of the year?

I know I dreamed and dared to mention  in-person retreats in Hawaii, I’m just not ready to release dates or details. I’ve had no resources (literally or energetically) to put toward it.

Thank you for your patience. Stay tuned…

For now, let’s gather in my Zoom Room on Wednesday mornings at 9:30 – 10:45 Hawaii time.

Remember, my Zoom rooms are intimate gatherings where I ask you to be fully present and engaged. I’m looking for a minimum of 5 and maximum of 14 people to show up, starting next week, to do the deeper dive into extraordinary living.

Elements of Everyday Enlightenment is the lofty name of this gathering that I humbly offer to host as your guide from the side, versus pretending to be a sage from the stage.

More details:

Elements of Everyday Enlightenment, a 12-week virtual gathering

Based on personal experience

Contributed by Amy Elizabeth Gordon, M.A., Licensed Imago Therapist & Relational Health Coach

Shatter the Illusion

There is a pervasive illusion that enlightenment happens on a mountaintop for men and women who have taken vows of epic proportion and somehow float above everyday life. Let’s try the householder’s version of enlightenment. We can  practice the principles of our own chosen standard. We can determine what enlightenment looks and feels like for us. 

Everyday enlightenment is achieved through mundane discipline to spiritual practices. These practices are through my viewpoint and completely colored by my personal experience. It may be different for you. All I ask if for your open-mindedness to consider the possibility that some of these may spark your own brilliant sanity to shine forth a wee bit brighter. To shine your own inner light on what sparks enlightenment in your life.

Intention: Deeper Dive into 12 distinctions of an extraordinary life

Moving from despair to repair requires loyalty to an extraordinary way of living that uplifts the world through radical self-enlightenment and unconditional forgiveness. My intention is to provide the map of how I got where I am today, in hopes of inspiriting others to own their sovereignty and use their power as a strong inner guidance system to cultivate an extraordinary life of everyday enlightenment. We will explore in more depth the 12 distinctions of extraordinary life; these are the ideas I’ve contemplated and taught for years.

Need support?

Is doing what you’ve been doing getting you where you want to be? If you are anything like me, you come from hard times. Me? I’ve been robbed, raped and ridiculed; abused, abandoned and assaulted; kidded, kicked and kept. By myself. And by others. And yet all my lofty efforts kept me hustling.

Quite simply, I was creating a life of strife through positive intentions. Yet the non-stop striving didn’t get me where I wanted to be. Regenerating relationships through daily spiritual maintenance is what helped in my life.

Stop striving and surrender to thriving. That’s what’s worked for me. Thriving in everyday enlightenment, tolerating discomfort, and no longer manufacturing my own misery. This is for people who are not in crisis or dangerous circumstances. Reach out for help and contact me if you don’t know where to turn.

Each week we will explore a mundane spiritual practice. We’ll do a deeper dive into how the distinction can anchor our intentions. And we will ground in an elemental feature for additional inspiration. (see more juicy details below)

Satisfaction guaranteed

Our time together gathering in my Zoom Room will be uplifting, engaging, and energizing.

Cost: opportunity to pay what you can love offering:

suggested cost is $1200

this includes 3 private calls w/ me (if you desire)

Cost Objections: You may be quite cozy in your comfort zone with daily judgements and resentments brewing. Enlightenment has a high cost. And it’s not about spiritual materialism, like buying the right yoga mat or special aromatherapy.

It’s the cost of freedom. Releasing the toxic trio of shame, blame and criticism. Of self and others. Daily.  Investing in this Gathering is up to you. A love offering makes cost objection obsolete.

Mark your calendars:

  1. September 28, 2022
  2. October 5, 2022
  3. October 12, 2022
  4. October 19, 2022
  5. October 26, 2022
  6. November 2, 2022
  7. November 9, 2022
  8. November 16, 2022
  9. November 23, 2022
  10. November 30, 2022
  11. December 7, 2022
  12. December 14, 2022

TIME OF DAY: Wednesdays at 9:30 – 10:45am Hawaii Time. 12:30pm Pacific. 3:30pm Eastern. click here for time zone converter

Time Objections: You may be busy enough already and are cautious to not take on more practices in your already busy life (which is perhaps riddled with good intentions). I’m here to nudge you. Anybody has 20 minutes to do something. That’s what it takes, in my opinion, at a minimum, to do your daily spiritual practices.  After this weekly investment of an hour in our Gathering, you will have designed your own 20-minute practice that resonates in your tender heart.


Imagine, if you will, stepping into your own sovereignty. Sovereignty in a pure sense of the word. To quit blaming, shaming and criticizing others. Watching what goes in your mouth, body, eyes, ears. Being fully responsible for how you show up to each day. Quitting waiting for time to show some better thoughts. 


Sign up by sending me an email to [email protected] with subject line: Gathering.

First 14 responses fill this group’s capacity. Feel free to invite your beloved or friend. They will need their own registration, their own computer (or Zoom square).

More juicy details

Gathering 1. Practice: Arriving Here. Distinction: trust. Element: sunrise

Gathering 2. Practice: Nurturing Sovereignty. Distinction: focus. Element: ocean

Gathering 3. Practice: Learning to Listen & Finding Forgiveness. Distinction: repair. Element: clouds

Gathering 4. Practice: Metabolizing Grief. Distinction: faith. Element: earth

Gathering 5. Practice: Eliminating Excess. Distinction: clarity. Element: air

Gathering 6. Practice: Releasing Resentments Distinction: openness. Element: fire

Gathering 7. Practice: Titrating Anxiety. Distinction: Reactivation. Element: water

Gathering 8. Practice: Pacing Oneself & Surviving Stillness. Distinction: energy. Element: moon

Gathering 9. Practice: Cultivating Serenity & Silence. Distinction: interdependence. Element: stars

Gathering 10. Practice: Embodying Enough. Distinction: Responsibility. Element: sunset

Gathering 11. Practice: Generating Gratitude. Distinction: generosity. Element: trees

Gathering 12. Practice: Celebrating Completion. Distinction: consciousness. Element: planet

These gatherings are live. Please commit to at least 10 of the 12 sessions. No recordings.

Email me with your questions, concerns or commitment.

Your matter. 

Your relationships matter. 



3 minutes of calm

Aloha Dear One,  

3 minutes of calm  

Take a seat. 

Feel gravity supporting you. Feeling yourself present in the moment with everything that’s going on swirling around you.

Take a moment to lower your gaze or close your eyes and just breathe in deeply, sweetly, allowing the belly to expand on the inhale. 

Pausing… thinking of all that has already transpired today, just let it settle. On the exhale releasing what’s no longer needed.

Take a deep sweet inhale in through the nose, resetting the nervous system pausing, thinking about all that remains in the day and settling, releasing, exhaling completely. And finally, breathing in sweetly, this moment right here right now.

Pausing, being here, noticing your noticing and releasing as you take this moment to pause, to breathe, and to reset. 

You are doing your future self a favor. You are doing everyone around you a favor. You are reconnecting to that place of stillness in the space between the thoughts. The gap between the actions and that moment of infinite possibility. This is the calm in the eye of the storm. The sweet spot in the middle of yesterday and tomorrow. That brings you into the eternal Now. Today, right here right now.

You sitting here, head over heart over hara: open-minded, open-hearted and willing to reset your own nervous system to pivot back toward calm and to shift the drift of all that swirling around. Even for a moment, even for a moment.

Right here. Right now.

Take a deep breath in
And a deep breath out.
Releasing the pinch within;
Releasing the grip. 

Finding the tender open heart  

Sending big Aloha, 


Relational health coaching guides you to access your tender heart.
Together, we regenerate landscapes, both internally and externally. 
You matter. Your relationships matter. 
schedule a session here

Do you believe in the power of love?

Why love matters is beyond simple description. 

The power of love is notably felt in the romantic phase. Feeling powerful, free of pain, invincible and higher than high is an amazing life experience. Yet this experience eventually fizzles out; it’s not sustainable.

We can chase it; we can’t contain it.

Romantic love, and the stories we tell ourselves about it, pull us into the highest highs and push us into the deep funks.

Love is a powerful force indeed

In the early stages of our romance, we felt the chemical swirl of feel-good hormones and daring behaviors. The hot and steamy seduction connected us deeply. The pursuit of these passions dominated our days.

Then came the mental wrestling match: Is this really happening? Is this okay? Is this the right time? What about _____ (fill in the blank)?  All of this mental meandering resulted in the back and forth, together/apart dance of our relationship.

You know what I’m talking about?

Then came the subsequent surrender. We fell, hard, in love. Hooked on the drug of love. Biological imperatives called the shots; we were hooked.

From here all things are possible

And it was complicated. I met Marc in 1997. There was a lot going on in graduate school as these flames of passion licked our beings. Rarely is falling in love a clean situation. Other people are often involved. Marc was married at the time. I was in the early stages of sobriety and wanted to treat people honorably; myself included. 

Difficult decisions determined the future. We were tempted and waited. We slipped and slided. We merged and collided. We broke it off and waited. Divorce proceedings simple. I was blamed as the “other woman.”

During the lulls, the resultant longing and disappointment sometimes made me hurt so much I would wish I’d never even engaged. 

My body’s wisdom knew this man could heal me in ways I couldn’t on my own. My body’s wisdom knew we would create amazing things together.

Surrendering to the wisdom of my body, I committed to the relationship. I quit stirring the worry pot and I let the mental meanderings settle, my soul softening to the moment.

Romance reminds me of my meditation practice

In romance, I’m falling in love with my wholeness. I see my wholeness when I look in my beloved’s eyes. I think it’s outside of me. It’s not. 

In meditation I am searching for my wholeness. I think it’s outside of me. I realize it’s not.

In romance I feel blissed out; I can experience this in meditation also.

My mind, left unchecked, bounces back and forth between things I want more of and things I want less of. I praise people or I blame them (including myself). It is a dizzying game of push and pull. This game creates suffering.

This doesn’t get me where I want to go. When I’m caught up in praise and blame, I’m basically manufacturing my own misery.

Romance can do this, too, where we often-times stay stuck in blaming the other person. We get caught up in the power struggle and end up blaming our drug dealer (our lover). The very person who generated the feel-good chemicals in the brain, now becomes target for our disappointment because the feel-good chemicals of romance, to meet and mate and procreate, are not meant to last forever. We need to evolve to something more sustaining. 

When my mind is freed of the burden of attraction and revulsion, I’m free to settle into the moment. Fresh moment. New awareness. Joy and freedom. This is the joyful journey I’ve discovered in my primary love relationship. I’ve moved beyond push and pull (for the most part) and settled into sustainable sweet connection. When we drift, we recalibrate back to this again and again. I believe in the power of love.

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” 

Lao Tzu