don’t try to change other people

energy

The Don’ts & Dos of Evolution by Bruce Lipton
Because You Are an Energy Field…

1. Don’t try to change other people.

If you go in to change negative energy with your positive energy, it’s called destructive interference. You lose your energy, they lose their energy, and nobody gains anything in the process.

Do: Focus on yourself and finding like-minded people to create a community in which all your energies are enhanced.

2. Don’t try to change the system.

If you charge in with your wonderful energy to try to change it, your energy will be canceled. You’ll come out with your tail between your legs, asking, What the hell was that all about?

Do: Put your energy into constructing a new system. If you build a better system, people in the old one will gravitate to the new one.

3. Don’t spend your life protesting.

Your life is energy. Too much protesting will cost you your life, because the system is not going to feed the energy you need for your protests.

Do: Find out who’s protesting with you. Gather them together and step out of the system. Use your energy for construction rather than destruction, and find other compatible communities. That’s constructive interference, when energies come together and multiply each other.

4. Don’t become frightened or angry or burned out.

These responses create walls that block your evolution and everyone else’s.

Do: Create the best and healthiest and happiest experience for yourself—and share it with the community.

[Bruce H. Lipton PhD, cell biologist and lecturer, is an internationally recognized leader in bridging science and spirit. He was on the faculty of the University of Wisconsin’s School of Medicine and later performed groundbreaking stem cell research at Stanford Medical School. His pioneering research on cloned human stem cells presaged today’s revolutionary new field of Epigenetics. He received the prestigious Goi Peace Award (Japan) in 2009 in honor of his scientific contribution to world harmony. He is the best-selling author of The Biology of Belief and The Honeymoon Effect, and is the coauthor with Steve Bhaerman of Spontaneous Evolution. www.brucelipton.com]

The One Minute Breath

meditate

The One Minute Breath

When you practice one breath a minute, then you become Pavan Guru—you become the light and knowledge of the prana, and then you know the Universe, the Universe knows you.
-Yogi Bhajan 7/26/96

The One Minute Breath is a great technique to keep your calm through our fast changing times. Try it.

Sit in a meditation posture. Inhale for 20 seconds, hold for 20 seconds, exhale for 20 seconds. 

Benefits

  • Optimized cooperation between the brain hemispheres
  • Dramatic calming of anxiety, fear and worry
  • Openness to feeling one’s presence and the presence of spirit
  • Intuition develops
  • The whole brain works, especially the old brain and the frontal hemispheres

One Minute Breath Tips:

To start, make yourself very comfortable. Have a shawl on that you can remove without exertion if you get warm. Be very still.

Once you are set, take 3 minutes to relax and deepen your breath (or try 3 minutes of Breath of Fire, or if you are really tense try 3 minutes of Sat Kriya).

Inhale slowly and steadily, filling your lower abdomen, your stomach area, going up to your lungs and then all the way up the chest.

Lock the breath once you fill your upper chest (after 20 seconds).

Hold (20 seconds).

Then exhale, slowly gently and steadily.

At the end of 20 seconds gently reverse to an inhale and begin again.

Having trouble working your way into it?

Don’t fight your breath. Be relaxed. Here are two approaches:

1. Give yourself permission to work up to it. Start inhaling for 10 seconds, holding for 10 seconds, exhaling for 10 seconds (or even 5 seconds if necessary). Take a day or two and then increase to 15, 15, 15, and then to 20, 20, 20.

2. Start with 20, 20, 20. If you find yourself struggling against your breath, complete the breath and then begin one minute of deep breathing. After a minute, start again, inhaling for 20 seconds, holding for 20 seconds, exhaling for 20 seconds

“Twenty seconds to inhale, twenty seconds to hold, twenty seconds to let it out. It takes one minute. And if you just practice eleven to thirty-one minutes, your blood itself will become a warrior against disease.

On average, you breathe twenty to twenty-five breaths per minute. In good health you breathe ten times a minute and a mentally balanced person breathes seven to nine breaths per minute. Fewer than that and you are a yogi.

If you sit down and breathe one breath per minute, in exactly thirty seconds you will find you are talking to yourself. In three minutes, you can get over any kind of mood. Why are you suffering? Do you want to live a long time? If you breathe an average of fifteen times a minute, and you live one hundred years, then if instead, you breathe one breath a minute, you can live fifteen hundred years because life is measured by the breath, not by years or by the calendar. When you are unconscious, your breath will be shallow and strong. But if you practice one breath a minute for eleven minutes a day, you can be in control of your mind.

If you want things to be done for you so you don’t have to do anything, then you must breathe from one to five or six breaths per minute. If you can practice that, then you can attract the Universe to you. It is no secret. It’s a simple thing. The longer and deeper your breath is, the more your psyche attracts everything to you—it’s a way to prosperity.

For thirty-one minutes do the one-minute breath meditation—it’s the story of a man who is grateful today; who is successful today; who has become compassionate without any lecture. He has realized himself. Why? It’s so simple. You live by breath, you die by breath. And if you meditate on your breath, the Pavan Guru, the knowledge of the pranic vidya of creation and creativity and all incarnations will dawn on you.

For some people it may take a short time, for some it may take a long time. But the path is the same. The procedure is the same. You will start winning yourself. You will start valuing your breath. You will start valuing your environments. You will start valuing your projections and one day you will be surprised—everyone will, in turn, value you.”
-Yogi Bhajan from Success and the Spirit

“A person who can breathe one breath a minute can multiply life fifteen times—no matter what your disease or state of
affairs is.”
-Yogi Bhajan 1/18/95


©The Teachings of Yogi Bhajan

3 steps to relational health

Do you know that the story I tell myself about my life carries just as much weight as the vision I have for my life?

Life can feel heavy and burdensome, almost smothering, or supportive and steady like gravity. 

I can choose the later, I choose aloha (love & compassion) over pilikia (trouble of any kind). 

Today I align my story and my vision. And I regularly take the steps of commitment, compassion, and communication to optimize wellness in all my relationships.

No more woe is me, though there are still hard times. 

No more I can’t do it, though at times I feel alone (and I can’t do this gig called life alone). 

No more blaming or shaming others, cause when i do it, it doesn’t get me where I want to be. 

This is incredibly liberating and terrifying all at the same time! Given the hard times I’ve been through (and as Brené Brown says, we all come from hard times) I could spin a story of woe or tale of empowerment.

In case you hadn’t noticed yet, I choose Empowerment. Transparency. Authenticity.

Breaking free from negativity has been (and continues to be) the transformational journey of a lifetime. For example…

Addictive behaviors robbed my soul of the beauty of the present moment, I’m now nearly 25 years sober, knowing my recovery is a gift. 

My husband was married to another woman (GASP, I know!) when we first met in graduate school 22 years ago. We’re now nearly 17 years happily married, knowing we have transformed many challenges into opportunities for deep connection.  

In the past, I was a crazy, anxious, uptight woman, suffering a nervous breakdown in my early 20s. Now nearly 30 years as a practicing meditator, yogini, and lover of earth, I know that tenderness, power, and generosity are the fruits of my labor. 

My point in sharing all of this with you is to connect the dots. 

Me to you. My past to my present. Ordinary to extraordinary.

That’s what’s possible with relationship coaching:

Moving from ordinary to extraordinary. From negativity to connection. 

Extraordinary relationships require commitment, compassion, & communication and my coaching program explores these 3 steps to extraordinary living. 

Good news, I’m prepared to bring decades of experience to guide you on this journey and to offer aloha, accountability, and inspiration. See details below.

Jump in to surrender to the success of the moment, gain inspiration, learn skills to communicate more clearly and cultivate a compassionate heart. 

P.S. It really is true that relationships matter most. Think about it. Nothing really works in your life if your relationship has a negative charge. Take a stand for what matters most today.   

With warm Aloha ~ Amy 

You Matter. Your Relationships Matter. 

Introducing: Core Connections Coaching Program

Extraordinary relationships require these 3 steps: commitment, compassion & communication:

For 9 months, we dive deep into the realms of commitment, compassion, and communication as you birth your Tender-Hearted Self, enjoy greater connection, and live an extraordinary life. 

  •  Name negative behavior patterns to tame them
  •  Learn conflict is growth trying to happen

Commitment:

  • Declarations of desires and ways of being: what vision, by when
  • Key distinctions of extraordinary lives: starting with Trust, Focus, Repair, Faith

Compassion:

  • Contemplative exercises of yoga & meditation to cultivate awareness, acceptance, and compassion
  • Creative exercises to spark joy and energy in your life

Clear Communication:

  • Look at your styles of verbal and non-verbal communication.
  • Refresh skills around assertive, non-violent, and intentional dialogue

This program is for you if you’re ready to take their relational health to the next level.

We all live in a relational world and these tools will up-level the quality of your life and leave you resourced to live an extraordinary life.

Have you ever considered that how you do one thing is how you do everything?

This program will benefit all your relationships. You’re going to get the best of me. 

Guaranteed.

Forgiveness: For-giving

forgiveness

Last night was date night. No set plans but kids out of the house and the rare moment to ourselves. We didn’t make a meal together. Rather we ate a few snacks, which for me included a third of a pint of Salted Caramel Coconut Bliss ice cream.

It was cold and I asked Marc to make a fire. While he obliged, my sugar high set in and suddenly I wanted the house clean. Sound familiar? So I started grumbling and rumbling around the kitchen and asking for help. Marc obliged and then pushed back.

Date night bust

I could witness what I was doing was not getting me where I wanted to go — which was on a date night of bliss not sugar induced activity and disgruntlement followed by the real epic bomb of the evening, I passed out on the couch.

I fell asleep during our date night and missed the funny movie and the fire.

When I attempted reconnection upstairs, we were both fairly spent and unsettled, at the same time.

We didn’t go to bed upset, we made some gestures of reconciliation, but it wasn’t blissful.

Rupture happens. Repair happens.

If I’m willing to forgive.

I forgive myself.

I forgive him.

Forgiveness: for-giving

Remembering the energy behind forgiveness: for-giving, I pivoted my morning plans and made another bid for connection.

We enjoyed coffee, private time, and a trip to the local farmer’s market as a beautiful start to our Saturday.

In the past, Friday night’s flub-up could have rattled me big time.

Up until now, we might how given each other a wide berth, kind of a silent zone of caution, instead of leaning in to reconnect.

Tender, powerful, generous

Today, I live as my true self: tender, powerful, generous. From this resourced place, I look for the myriad of ways I can advocate for my partner’s wellbeing. It’s not clearing off the kitchen shelf. Rather, his wellbeing during date night requires me to be off my devices, not in a sugar coma, and present to love, laughter, and ease that we create together.

For that I am truly grateful.

Forgiveness is also letting go of the notion of ever having a different past. Last night happened. There is no rewind button. I don’t have to beat up on myself for it. I can live and let live. And then there is more harmony, almost as a natural by-product.

Ho’oponopono

I’m reminded of the practice of ho’oponopono.

I’m sorry.

Please forgive me.

Thank you.

I love you.

In Hawai’i, we have these four sentences as the backbone of forgiveness. The ultimate relational repair tool for ruptured connection. Try it. And comment below how it feels to you.

 

Release to Know and Give Peace

mike-kenneally-1044986-unsplash.jpg

Release to Know and Give Peace

This ancient blessing deals with forgiveness, affection, detachment and liberation and was created in the Nahuatl language, spoken in Mexico.

I release my parents from the feeling that they have already failed me.

I release my children from the need to bring pride to me; that they may write their own ways according to their hearts, that whisper all the time in their ears.

I release my partner from the obligation to complete myself. I do not lack anything. I learn with all beings all the time.

I thank my grandparents and forefathers who have gathered so that I can breathe life today.

I release them from past failures and unfulfilled desires, aware that they have done their best to resolve their situations within the consciousness they had at that moment.

I honor you, I love you and I recognize you as innocent.

I am transparent before your eyes, so they know that I do not hide or owe anything other than being true to myself and to my very existence, that walking with the wisdom from the heart, I am aware that I fulfill my life project, free from invisible and visible family loyalties that might disturb my Peace and Happiness, which are my only responsibilities.

 I renounce the role of savior, of being one who unites or fulfills the expectations of others.

Learning through, and only through, LOVE, I bless my essence, my way of expressing, even though somebody may not understand me. 

I understand myself, because I alone have lived and experienced my history; because I know myself, I know who I am, what I feel, what I do and why I do it.

I respect and approve myself.

I honor the Divinity in me and in you.

We are free.

(This ancient blessing was created in the Nahuatl language, spoken in Mexico. It deals with forgiveness, affection, detachment and liberation). 

I send this on Saint Patrick’s Day, to honor the Irish legacy in my life. I release my grandmother from the grips of alcoholism. I am sober in her honor and to leave a legacy of love as a sober woman of integrity. 

Annual Relationship Review Time

annual review

Annual Relationship Review is a worthy investment of your time. It’s that time of year to reflect on the memories and highlights and, most importantly, to share them with those you love. Then contemplate what you would like to experience in the year ahead. Research shows, you write it down, it is more likely to happen. Think of it as fertilizer for the space between; the relational field that yields abundant crops of all that your heart desires.

Problem:

We complain about the quality of our lives without taking stock of what goes in and out of our lives. The years pass by without savoring the sweet moments and metabolizing the grief. We feel powerless.

Solution:

Take inventory of your primary relationship. Carve out the time to jot down your thoughts and share with your beloved in an intentional dialogue. You take inventory of your fridge to keep it clean and fresh in order to sustain your body. Now it is important to inventory that which feeds your soul: your primary relationships.

Results:

Successful relationships by your own chosen standard result from taking personal responsibility for what matters most in your life and creating the extraordinary life you want. The ultimate result: you love your love life.

Annual Review Time:

carve out time with your Beloved and ask

How did I add to your life in 2023?
How would you like me to add to your life in 2024?

What helped you to feel loved and safe in 2023?
What would help you to feel loved and safe in 2024?

What precious memories do you have from 2023?
What precious memories would you like to create in 2024?

How did you see me grow in 2023?
In what ways would you like me to grow in 2024?

What did you learn from me in 2023?
What would you like us to learn in 2024?

A New Year Dialogue

1. What I contributed to our relationship this year is…..
2. What I appreciate about your contribution to our relationship this year is….
3. Concerning my part in our relationship, what I would be glad to leave behind, and say goodbye to, towards our continued work is……
4. A Growth Gift that I’m giving myself….
5. A Growth Gift that I’m giving you is…….

Do this with your partner and also with your family. Thereby, you invest in what mattes most.

Let me know if I can coach you through this process.

Before the end of the year, do this because you matter and your relationships matter.