How do I focus? I begin with lovingkindness meditation. How do I finish? I pace myself by setting 3 most important things per day. Let’s be clear, these are things I can focus on, things in my hula hoop. Lovingkindness and focus on self brings more skillful means with others.
Then I’m not focused on the things my husband is or isn’t doing, or anyone else for that matter. I shine the light of mindfulness on what is surrounding me. Period. Then I’m way more loving and a lot less judging.
Setting my twenty minute timer is changing my life.
“Siri, set timer for twenty minutes.” This is my most frequent phone request. I use it for writing, for yoga, for walking, for cleaning; it is a great gentle kick in the pants, I can then bust a move. A true momentum builder, because once I do one thing, I’m charged up for more.
I can do anything for twenty minutes.
Narrowing the window of time with which I measure things means I’m way more focused, therefore I finish way more things. Oftentimes I feel way more joy.
My life is riddled with good intentions and at times, they create high-strung intensity and overwhelm. These are wake up calls to me to focus on what matters most. Inhale. Exhale. Pace.
My habitual frenzy of activity isn’t getting me where I want to be. Calm. Lovable. Loving. I tend to over-commit and under-deliver.
Many of us believe there is not enough time, and this causes internal conflict. I must make the right choice, now! I must finish my to-do list! Therefore, I take on too much responsibility and too much busyness and self-care takes a back seat to striving.
A life spent striving leads to a life of strife.
What matters most to me is the quality of my relationships. I give twenty minutes of undivided attention (read: no devices) to my beloveds and it fertilizes the space between us. Sharing a cup of tea without distraction infuses premium love to my relationship.
Slowing down to the transitions of the day, celebrating good morning with a snuggle, good-bye with a kiss, greeting with a kindness, and goodnight with a gratitude. Focus and finish and feel the joy.