Metabolizing Grief

keep it real

Grief. Mass grief. Personal waves of it over the last five months. Both in-laws died within 2 weeks of each other last fall. My middle brother died this month. My dream of leading retreats with my husband died (years ago, though we’re still married and working through the pain of loss), I’ve been in denial about much of this.

Pain & Blessings

The pain of unhealed wounds, unmet needs, untreated addictions, all of this touches our lives at some point on this journey, whether we are aware of it or not. I’m aware. I’m moving into acceptance. And from there, I take action.

My husband and I keep it real by meeting each other where we are NOW. I get to learn how to be more patient with his grief process. I get to provide more space. Because, when my impatience meets his procrastination, I basically generate my own suffer.

So now I offer retreats to couples without my husband. I offer free classes at Tutu’s House without my husband. I write to release the pinch of dominant culture without expecting my beloved to co-author the book. I can recognize, as we grow old together, that “we are not me” and for that I am grateful.

I have more blessings in my life than I can say grace over, truly: nearly 30 years of continuous sobriety, nearly 22 years of conscious monogamy and dedicated marriage, and two adorable and brilliant and thriving young men who inspire me to shift the drift to create a more beautiful world my heart endeavors to believe is possible. If I just release the grip. And tenderize daily.

Simplify to Amplify

gratitude

Aloha Dear One, 

Do you have a lot of ideas of how the world could be a better place?

Do you often wish others would behave differently?

Do you find this is a recipe for woe and a foundation for chronic disappointment?

One way to stop doing this, without lowering your standards, is to simplify to amplify. A coach taught me this years ago. And now I’m finally embracing it at a deeper level. 

My simplified message is this: We get to dwell in a playful heart.

From this place, it’s natural to 

  • Cherish connection.
  • Cultivate gratitude.
  • Count blessings.

When we reside here, relationships flourish, heal, and resource us. They also uplift the environment. We get to remember that relationships are the playground of the heart or the battleground of the ego.

We get to tend to what matters most and weed out the things we don’t want to grow, turn them into compost, and cultivate whole-hearted living.  

The heart is the home of heaven or hell here on earth. Joy or misery lands here. Peaceful expansion or painful contraction create our realities.

What if we choose

  • heaven
  • joy
  • peace
  • expansion
  • liberation

And from this, we amplify LOVING RELATIONS. 

What are you simplifying today? 

What are you amplifying today?

 Let me know.

Warmly,

Amy