relationships Archives | Page 2 of 5 | Amy Elizabeth, Master of Arts

February 20, 2024February 20, 2024

Metabolizing Grief

Grief. Mass grief. Personal waves of it over the last five months. Both in-laws died within 2 weeks of each other last fall. My middle brother died this month. My dream of leading retreats with my husband died (years ago, though we’re still married and working through the pain of loss), I’ve been in denial about much of this.

Pain & Blessings

The pain of unhealed wounds, unmet needs, untreated addictions, all of this touches our lives at some point on this journey, whether we are aware of it or not. I’m aware. I’m moving into acceptance. And from there, I take action.

My husband and I keep it real by meeting each other where we are NOW. I get to learn how to be more patient with his grief process. I get to provide more space. Because, when my impatience meets his procrastination, I basically generate my own suffer.

So now I offer retreats to couples without my husband. I offer free classes at Tutu’s House without my husband. I write to release the pinch of dominant culture without expecting my beloved to co-author the book. I can recognize, as we grow old together, that “we are not me” and for that I am grateful.

I have more blessings in my life than I can say grace over, truly: nearly 30 years of continuous sobriety, nearly 22 years of conscious monogamy and dedicated marriage, and two adorable and brilliant and thriving young men who inspire me to shift the drift to create a more beautiful world my heart endeavors to believe is possible. If I just release the grip. And tenderize daily.

November 18, 2023November 18, 2023

how to surf

constant trust in the power of prayer

Having the great good fortune of living in Hawai’i, the ocean is a source of great comfort and support. And yet I’ve been in the ocean only twice since I last wrote you. That’s only two times in over a month; that’s highly unusual. And yet I’ve been surfing this whole time.

Surfing for me is riding the wild waves of a lifey life. It’s knowing which ones will be challenging, yet fun, and which ones do I need to dive under and regain my breath as soon as possible. Lately there’s been some big waves. Personally, we’ve had 2 deaths in the family and prolonged sickness.

But I rise. Each day. Like a wave. Like a sunrise. Sometimes with gentle grace and rainbows; sometimes with turbulence and obscuration. Always with the presence of the higher power. Don’t forget gravity!

And I surf the waves. Surfing is prayer. Prayer is chanting. Prayer is asking for guidance to be okay in this moment, no matter what, and remember that presence matters and awareness of breath strengthens presence.

How do I surf when life keeps getting super lifey? I relax and take it easy. I cease fighting anyone or anything. And in turning my life over to a higher power, I find the ability to surf the emotional waves of life without drowning in overwhelm. Breathing and cultivating gratitude are my daily practices.

I’ve learned from Hawai’i lifeways and Mary Kawena Pukui that the Hawaiian has continued to pray in the same wholehearted spirit of his ancestors. With deep devotion. With lively fervor. With constant trust in the power of prayer to ease the burden and enhance the beauty of daily life.

This inspires me.

Chanting as a Spiritual Practice

My Buddhist practice includes a chant of aspiration and dedication of merit.

From the stormy waves of birth, old age, sickness, and death, from the ocean of samsara, may I free all beings.

Buddhist chants, Hawaiian chants, Yoga chants; vital aspects of my spiritual life, an energetic exchange to my higher powers. To give breath as a sacrifice and an offer of my willingness and eagerness to live a more spiritual life.

Last time I wrote you I included a beautiful Kundalini yoga chant, Akaal, I play daily that has helped hugely with the recent death of my in-laws. Akaal means “Undying” and refers to the soul that is being released. This sound current helps guide the soul to pass out of the earthly realm…

I pray with faith in the constant power of prayer to ease the burden and enhance the beauty of daily life. And from this place of energetic aliveness, I pour into others. My purpose is to be of maximum service and help others liberate from their own suffering, and one key way I do this is in my work with couples and their relational health.

Special Offer for Relational Health Coaching

Now through the end of the month (November, 2023) I have a special deep dive relational tune-up for you. Message me at [email protected] and let me know what shift you wish to manifest in your primary relationship and I’ll do my level best to guide you there. Mention “deep dive” for the special rate of $333 for a 3-hour Discovery & Breakthrough session. (Regularly $1,000).

Take good care of yourselves and spread Aloha.

Kindly,

Amy E

Amy Elizabeth Gordon | Relationship Doula
Serving Hawai’i Island and beyond
808-936-3733

You matter. Your relationships matter.

clear your mind
open your heart
rekindle your spirit
energize your life

October 2, 2023October 2, 2023

Cut thru chaos

Are you more mind-full or mindful in this moment?

Hello again. Thank you for reading my updates. Your time is just as valuable as mine and my purpose for sharing how I’m negotiating my energy on a daily basis as a relational health coach is to uplift you to have extraordinary relations with Self, Other, and Spirit.

Last week’s email update was full of personal challenges and I wanted to take a moment to share a bit how I cope. Here’s a beautiful chant I play daily that has helped hugely with the recent death of my father-in-law.

Akaal

The key to all of it, the “so muchness” of what is going on, is to be mindful. To pause and notice. And in moments of awareness, to notice my noticing.

How do I feel in my body temple now? What are the sensations of my present experience? Coming back to my senses is key in being grounded in the present moment. Turning my life over to a higher power is key in surfing the emotional waves of life without drowning in overwhelm. Breathing and cultivating gratitude are my daily practices.

I know what being mind-full is like. For me it’s that itty-bitty-shitty-committee that wakes me at 2am demanding I think about life, death, and every possible worry in between. Shifting into mindful consciousness is when I can take the reign of my magnifying mind and focus on gratitude and embodied presence.

Here’s a few nudges to cut thru chaos in these simple ways:
1. breath practice
2. gratitude practice
3. media diet

1. breath practice

breathing in, i know i am breathing in
breathing out, i know i am breathing out

in
out

mind wanders to the next worrisome thought
discursive thoughts distort serenity
habitual hydraulics of hypersensitivity hijack wellbeing

return again to a mindfulness breath practice

breathing in
breathing out

in
out

2. gratitude practice

craft a daily gratitude list:
(for example):
1) sobriety
2) sunrise in shades of pink and purple
3) full moon eclipsed by clouds

A-Z gratitude practice
what starts with “a” that you appreciate?
“b”?’
“c”?
typically you’ll fall asleep before arriving at “z”

upon awakening smile before feet kiss the earth

continue the gratitude practice by writing 100 things you appreciate about yourself. Yes, you. A hard, worthwhile endeavor for all of us. In this, you’ll be overriding the tormentor left over from yesterday (your self critic). And cultivating a higher Self of resilience, compassion and service who is tender, powerful and generous.

3. media diet

Watching media diet is important also. Gently asking, am I tethered to my devices in a way that they control and demand my attention or are my devices on my leash, able to be trained and contained?

My attention is precious. So is yours. Harness it now.

Take good care of yourselves and spread Aloha.

October 22, 2022October 22, 2022

contemplate your true nature

Where I’m from, my parent’s love for me was rooted in worry, anxiety and dread.

“I’m anxious to see you.” (Mom said each time I planned a trip home)
“Be careful.” (Mom uttered every time I left the house)
“You’re too sensitive.” (Dad chided me to be more tough — so I didn’t get hurt so much)

And yet was I was told, repeatedly, was that they loved me and they wanted me to be happy. Yet the energetic exchange was negatively charged.

In my adulthood, through the journey of conscious partnership, connected parenting, and ongoing sobriety, I’ve learned a few replacements:

wonder replaces worry
delight replaces doubt
rejoice replaces regret

And thus I return to my true nature. The childlike wonder, delight and ability to rejoice is still in me. And you, too. Experience liberation from negativity. When we quit worrying we allow space for wonder to emerge. Worry is praying for things we don’t want. Free up that energy with a glance up at the cloud or the stars right now.

Pause. Breathe. Reset.

These extraordinary benefits of right living — experiencing daily delight, wonder and rejoicing in the sober mind and tender heart–become rather ordinary and mundane.

So instead of consuming (I just deleted more social media apps from my phone), I’m contemplating my true nature. If you’re anything like me, social media drums up old love exchanges: worry, doubt, regret.

Clearing up clutter of distractions and releasing the pinch of judgement and tech anxiety brings relief. Clarity of mind and openness of heart are glimpses of everyday enlightenment. This, dear one, is a worthwhile journey. I’m delighted to be your guide from the side.

My master’s degree is in Contemplative Psychology. To contemplate is to allow the divine in. Years of practice working with my own mind and tenderizing my own heart cultivates bodhicitta: enlightened mind and awakened heart (same thing).

And so it is, Aloha Friday.

Your matter.

Your relationships matter.

With tenderness,

Amy

September 23, 2022September 23, 2022

Upcoming Relational Coaching

Elements of Everyday Enlightenment, a 12-week virtual gathering

Our time together gathering in Amy’s Zoom Room will be uplifting, engaging, and energizing.

Details at a Glance:

Who: me and you and up to a dozen others.

What: learning, sharing, breathing, writing, embodying practices to support relational health.

Where: Zoom Room (link provided after enrollment)

When: 12 weeks. Sept. 26 – Dec. 14, 2022.

Time: Wednesdays, 18:30 UTC (9:30am Hawaii)

Length: 1 hour 15 minutes.

Cost: love offering (suggested $1200)

Why: Connection is vital to our wellbeing.

Mark your calendars:

September 28, 2022
October 5, 2022
October 12, 2022
October 19, 2022
October 26, 2022
November 2, 2022
November 9, 2022
November 16, 2022
November 23, 2022
November 30, 2022
December 7, 2022
December 14, 2022

Time of Day:

Wednesdays at 9:30 – 10:45am Hawaii Time. click here for time zone converter

Cost:

pay what you can love offering: suggested cost is $1200

this includes 3 private calls w/ Amy (if you desire)

Action:

First 14 responses fill this group’s capacity. Feel free to invite your beloved or friend. They will need their own registration and their own Zoom square.

More juicy details

Gathering 1. Practice: Arriving Here. Distinction: trust. Element: sunrise

Gathering 2. Practice: Nurturing Sovereignty. Distinction: focus. Element: ocean

Gathering 3. Practice: Learning to Listen & Finding Forgiveness. Distinction: repair. Element: clouds

Gathering 4. Practice: Metabolizing Grief. Distinction: faith. Element: earth

Gathering 5. Practice: Eliminating Excess. Distinction: clarity. Element: air

Gathering 6. Practice: Releasing Resentments Distinction: openness. Element: fire

Gathering 7. Practice: Titrating Anxiety. Distinction: Reactivation. Element: water

Gathering 8. Practice: Pacing Oneself & Surviving Stillness. Distinction: energy. Element: moon

Gathering 9. Practice: Cultivating Serenity & Silence. Distinction: interdependence. Element: stars

Gathering 10. Practice: Embodying Enough. Distinction: Responsibility. Element: sunset

Gathering 11. Practice: Generating Gratitude. Distinction: generosity. Element: trees

Gathering 12. Practice: Celebrating Completion. Distinction: consciousness. Element: planet

These gatherings are live. Please commit to at least 10 of the 12 sessions. No recordings.

Who is Amy?

Facilitated by Amy Elizabeth Gordon, M.A., Licensed Imago Therapist & Relational Health Coach

Amy Elizabeth Gordon, founder of gig called life coaching, llc, is a published author, relationship doula and compassion activist. Through power in partnership, she thrives and lives an extraordinary life.

Cutting through the chaotic and distracted energies of dominant culture, opening minds riddled with lack, and rekindling souls hungry for connection, Amy is a dedicated sober woman of integrity who sees her roles as wife, mother, daughter, coach, yogini, paddler, hula dancer, and fellow human being as an ever-expanding opportunity to heal the planet.

A lifelong student, Amy has spent several decades advocating for big compassion, healthy relationships, and holistic wellbeing. Her professional training includes a Master of Arts in Contemplative Psychology from Naropa University, Nationally Certified Addictions Counselor, Certified Imago International Relationship Therapist, and Certified Parent Coach.

Additionally, Amy is a founding member of Hālau ʻŌhiʻa, a Stewardship Training program bridging indigenous lifeways and modern technology in a fruitful foundation for the future.

As a relationship doula and relational health coach, she weaves the arc of connection of addiction recovery, relational healing and contemplative practice to cultivate maximum health with Self, Other and Spirit. She invites us to reimagine our relationships and dwell in our tender and powerful hearts in a way that is indeed miraculous.

Contact info: 808-936-3733

Your matter.

Your relationships matter.

September 21, 2022

Elements of Everyday Enlightenment

Aloha Dear One,

I’ve been metabolizing a lot of grief lately.

Recently, a beloved colleague, friend and sister-in-sobriety died of ALS. Diagnosed in January, her body shut down rapidly as I imagine her mind sharpened and her heart widened. She gave us, our family, all of whom loved and adored her, a tremendous and bewildering gift. The gift of her confidence. Her powerful knowing that, “in the bigger picture” she was okay.

That the insight of knowing that she is enough, this world is enough, and we are all enough was a powerful reminder of how much we, collectively, struggle with scarcity mindsets. Lack energy breeds fear and keeps us isolated.

I want you to know I see your brilliant sanity. Your enough-ness. And I’m ready to circle up with you virtually. Ready to meet regularly in Zoom through the end of the year?

I know I dreamed and dared to mention in-person retreats in Hawaii, I’m just not ready to release dates or details. I’ve had no resources (literally or energetically) to put toward it.

Thank you for your patience. Stay tuned…

For now, let’s gather in my Zoom Room on Wednesday mornings at 9:30 – 10:45 Hawaii time.

Remember, my Zoom rooms are intimate gatherings where I ask you to be fully present and engaged. I’m looking for a minimum of 5 and maximum of 14 people to show up, starting next week, to do the deeper dive into extraordinary living.

Elements of Everyday Enlightenment is the lofty name of this gathering that I humbly offer to host as your guide from the side, versus pretending to be a sage from the stage.

More details:

Elements of Everyday Enlightenment, a 12-week virtual gathering

Based on personal experience

Contributed by Amy Elizabeth Gordon, M.A., Licensed Imago Therapist & Relational Health Coach

Shatter the Illusion

There is a pervasive illusion that enlightenment happens on a mountaintop for men and women who have taken vows of epic proportion and somehow float above everyday life. Let’s try the householder’s version of enlightenment. We can practice the principles of our own chosen standard. We can determine what enlightenment looks and feels like for us.

Everyday enlightenment is achieved through mundane discipline to spiritual practices. These practices are through my viewpoint and completely colored by my personal experience. It may be different for you. All I ask if for your open-mindedness to consider the possibility that some of these may spark your own brilliant sanity to shine forth a wee bit brighter. To shine your own inner light on what sparks enlightenment in your life.

Intention: Deeper Dive into 12 distinctions of an extraordinary life

Moving from despair to repair requires loyalty to an extraordinary way of living that uplifts the world through radical self-enlightenment and unconditional forgiveness. My intention is to provide the map of how I got where I am today, in hopes of inspiriting others to own their sovereignty and use their power as a strong inner guidance system to cultivate an extraordinary life of everyday enlightenment. We will explore in more depth the 12 distinctions of extraordinary life; these are the ideas I’ve contemplated and taught for years.

Need support?

Is doing what you’ve been doing getting you where you want to be? If you are anything like me, you come from hard times. Me? I’ve been robbed, raped and ridiculed; abused, abandoned and assaulted; kidded, kicked and kept. By myself. And by others. And yet all my lofty efforts kept me hustling.

Quite simply, I was creating a life of strife through positive intentions. Yet the non-stop striving didn’t get me where I wanted to be. Regenerating relationships through daily spiritual maintenance is what helped in my life.

Stop striving and surrender to thriving. That’s what’s worked for me. Thriving in everyday enlightenment, tolerating discomfort, and no longer manufacturing my own misery. This is for people who are not in crisis or dangerous circumstances. Reach out for help and contact me if you don’t know where to turn.

Each week we will explore a mundane spiritual practice. We’ll do a deeper dive into how the distinction can anchor our intentions. And we will ground in an elemental feature for additional inspiration. (see more juicy details below)

Satisfaction guaranteed

Our time together gathering in my Zoom Room will be uplifting, engaging, and energizing.

Cost: opportunity to pay what you can love offering:

suggested cost is $1200

this includes 3 private calls w/ me (if you desire)

Cost Objections: You may be quite cozy in your comfort zone with daily judgements and resentments brewing. Enlightenment has a high cost. And it’s not about spiritual materialism, like buying the right yoga mat or special aromatherapy.

It’s the cost of freedom. Releasing the toxic trio of shame, blame and criticism. Of self and others. Daily. Investing in this Gathering is up to you. A love offering makes cost objection obsolete.

Mark your calendars:

September 28, 2022
October 5, 2022
October 12, 2022
October 19, 2022
October 26, 2022
November 2, 2022
November 9, 2022
November 16, 2022
November 23, 2022
November 30, 2022
December 7, 2022
December 14, 2022

TIME OF DAY: Wednesdays at 9:30 – 10:45am Hawaii Time. 12:30pm Pacific. 3:30pm Eastern. click here for time zone converter

Time Objections: You may be busy enough already and are cautious to not take on more practices in your already busy life (which is perhaps riddled with good intentions). I’m here to nudge you. Anybody has 20 minutes to do something. That’s what it takes, in my opinion, at a minimum, to do your daily spiritual practices. After this weekly investment of an hour in our Gathering, you will have designed your own 20-minute practice that resonates in your tender heart.

Visualization

Imagine, if you will, stepping into your own sovereignty. Sovereignty in a pure sense of the word. To quit blaming, shaming and criticizing others. Watching what goes in your mouth, body, eyes, ears. Being fully responsible for how you show up to each day. Quitting waiting for time to show some better thoughts.

Action

First 14 responses fill this group’s capacity. Feel free to invite your beloved or friend. They will need their own registration, their own computer (or Zoom square).