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Didn’t drop it? Then don’t pick it up

nature lover

I’m a nature lover, an environmentalist, a believer in the church of natural great beauty. In this church, I’ve spent a lot of time picking up other peoples trash. In the process of being a do-gooder, I’m nursing a heavy resentment of anger toward others. Questions such as the following pop up like weeds: Have you ever noticed that litter is usually the detritus of stuff that’s not good for you in the first place?

I don’t mean to label, but I will. Indulge me. Notice next time you see trash on the side of the road; it’s the potato chips/fast food/cigarette smoking/beer drinking bundles of proof haphazardly discarded that indicate that unhealthy people litter more than healthy ones. I don’t litter. I’m a good one. These sort of pep talks pepper my beach walks until I catch hold of that righteous bitch and stop her in her tracks. And stop her from picking up the trash.

The false responsibility is that I should clean it up, that it’s my fault even. That to be a do-gooder and the good gurl I must clear out the mess others leave behind (figuratively and literally).

I am unlearning this heavily ingrained habit. I learned during epic restoration work on the sacred Hawaiian island of Kaho’olawe (bombed by the US military in the flawed quest of seeking peace through destructive means) that if I didn’t drop it, I don’t pick it up. Granted the stakes were higher there. We had unexploded ordnance training, which is a fancy way of saying there’s a high probability that grenade or other device that would detonate upon disturbance was around us. 

Compare this to the prior year. A clear example of my enrolling do-gooder: To pull over on the side of the road and give the kids a trash bag and say OK we’re doing our family community project of 20 minutes of cleanup. This was on Saddle Road. Between the sacred mountains of Mauna Kea and Mauna Loa.

Semis sped by.

The fragile yet powerful ecosystem responds favorably to our intervention, but some still small voice reminds me that I’m just enabling people to desecrate the sacred land. It’s not my job to pick up other peoples trash anymore. The beach cleanups with elementary schools where we had a contest of who could get the most cigarette butts no longer inspires me. I don’t want enable slovenly behavior. 

It’s the flip side of sovereignty.

My history was dark and wild. I’m dark and wild. That is my true nature. And there is purity in that truth. And it’s beautiful. 

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Aloha Friday: Sovereignty of Self

power

Aloha Dear One, 

Lest we fall further into the Realm of Despair, let’s come back to our senses with this powerful exercise. Let’s take a moment to connect with something bigger than us. Sure, worry, fear, and outrage are bigger than us. But what else is? For inspiration, click the whale image below to visit another realm entirely.  

When things feel a bit swirly and outta control, come back to your senses. Turn off the news or the worries in your mind and instead, listen to a special moment in your life (perhaps from all those videos waiting in your phone for your attention). That’s what I did today and so I share this precious whale memory from earlier this year. 

My body, my choice.

In the winter, I jumped in the mighty Pacific and allowed the songs of Humpbacks and the ocean to hold me. I reunite with this power greater than myself in this moment of euphoric recall. From this place, I’m rejuvenated to face the reality of current events, events of a personal, national, and/or global nature. 

On this Aloha Friday, let’s pause, breathe, and reset and take a moment to reflect on what went well (in our personal lives) this week. 

Let’s create BREATHING ROOM in our lives for personal joy to multiply and personal sorrow to divide. 

  • JOY: My decisions around what goes into my body are mostly healthy and I have the great good fortune of being sober, sane, and serene. 
  • SORROW: My body keeps the score of old traumas and transgressions and my hips ache and my skin itches as I continue to process and release the old stuff – the old haunts (mine and my ancestors). 

Here’s a nudge: Help spread the light of high-vibe living, rather than contract in fear or rage and fuel the spew of negativity. This is not pollyanna thinking or spiritual-bypassing. This is about staying sober, sane and serene no matter what and coming back to your senses and trusting your Sovereignty is your true power.

This self-sovereignty is the power we share with each other in a regenerative world. We don’t need guns to feel safe or governments to protect us, we need to WAKE UP and take back our power. Does the media have the power to determine if we are heartbroken? I think not. 

Ground in the gratitude of your own Sovereignty. From this place of empowerment, you can more readily promote healthier choices, loving relations, and help multiply joys.

  • Own your privilege
  • Own your heartache
  • Own your choices
  • Own your sovereignty.  

Your matter. 

Your relationships matter. 

Warmly,

Amy 

power
https://vimeo.com/723913596

click the link above to listen to male humpback whale song from 2/22

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cross divides, break silence

Incompatibility, bridging differences

We gotta talk. We get to talk about race. We need to have the painful conversations and heed the call to action for the truth to rise to the top. 

Dwelling in the spirit of solidarity, empathy and understanding, we are coming together, sharing our stories, and exploring what matter most: relational health.

In my transformational memoir, Moonshot: aim high, dive deep, live an extraordinary life, I get real with my experience of growing up American. Here I’m taking a brave leap to share a few painful blinks from my personal history. Once again, this is real, raw, vulnerable. Caveat.

I grew up in America, in the South, wallowing in the soup of an us/them mentality. I didn’t understand this mentality of inequality. And I never felt a sense of belonging.

At the age of 15, I was raped by a skinhead; a white supremacist. This event marked the loss of my virginity, my innocence. Based on the religion of my upbringing, I feared I was going to hell. 

At the age of 16, while seriously drunk, I walked alone in a neighborhood, and I was assaulted by 5 black men; my head cracked open with a lead pipe or tire iron, I know not what. I fumbled, bled, escaped. Fortunately, I went to the hospital for treatment, stitches and concussion protocol. 

At the age of 18, I lived in the student ghetto in Gainesville and was robbed by a black man who sold my bike for crack. I yelled to him, “Excuse me sir, that’s my bike,” I protested, futilely, all-the-while addressing the inherent worth and dignity in every human being, in this man (hence the term, “sir.”)

Here’s the most painful part: In each instance of trauma, abuse and violation, I blamed myself. Ouch. I never pressed charges. I never trusted the system. I never trusted myself. 

Even when I knew the perpetrator/the rapist/the skinhead. I knew his name, where he lived; I still kept quiet. I didn’t seek support. Even with a line-up of other criminals, I couldn’t trust the system to provide justice. I didn’t seek support. Even with

The American Dominant Culture impacts lives. I suffered trauma and I thought it was karma. For years I warped spiritual principles into a savvy and sophisticated intellectualized approach toward overcoming these transgressions. That’s a fancy way of saying, I blamed myself. No more.

  • Have you ever felt you need to keep the silence and suffer? 
  • Have you ever felt outrage at the lack of equality and empathy in our dominant culture?
  • Have you ever felt that the true essence of power (self-sovereignty) is needed now more that ever?

What can you do? Trust yourself to no longer abandon yourself. Be the silence breaker. Lean into the difficult conversations and be the change you wish to see in the world. 

CALL TO ACTION: Seek support. Know belonging. Cultivate resilience.

My journey of recovery and transformation began 30 years ago, and continues to this day. I realized I no longer needed to keep the silence and suffer. I needed, and continue to need, spiritual help.

I ask you to gather with me on the second Saturday of the month, to breathe, to engage in the ritual of building an altar of awareness, to celebrate personal Moonshots and release what is no longer needed. 

This month, January 9th of the new year of 2021, the theme is TRUST.

Variety Show with Amy E ZOOM ROOM starts on at noon Pacific Time.

  • We will engage in a short ritual of connection and conscious breath-work
  • We will invite a few moments to celebrate being alive and become fully embodied with laughter yoga
  • We will explore the power of Moonshot Magic, through declaring our intentions and acknowledging a power greater than ourselves, and continue releasing the pinch of Dominant Culture 
  • We will entertain special guests to explore what matters most in relational health with greater ease, joy and earnestness.

Together, we rise.  

You Matter. Your Relationships Matter.