Aloha Everyday: How to agree to disagree

Agree to disagree and you choose happiness over righteousness.

Every moment I expect my husband to think or feel or act in a way other than how he is presently thinking, feeling or acting, I’m basically generating my own suffering.

Whenever I want my mother-in-law to quit talking to me about her ideas for a death with dignity departure from this earthly plane, I’m basically shutting my heart down.

Each time I beat up on myself for not handling my life with the greatest ease, flow, and grace, I’m basically creating conditions for greater dis-ease, constriction, and disgust.

Relational health requires intentional communication.

I trust my husband is doing the best he can in this moment. He is operating from his own value system. We all are. I can agree to disagree with what he is doing and I can choose how to respond.

Therein lies tremendous freedom and peace.

I can be quiet. Silence is golden at times.

I can say, “You might be right.” Happiness trumps righteousness.

I can advocate for his greater well-being by validating his experience. (This is higher level relational mastery. Set up a call with me to discuss.)

Essentials needed for getting along with others: acceptance, tenderness, forgiveness

How far should you compromise? Trust yourself to no longer abandon your values. How much connection and solitude do you really need? Trust your gut. Get quiet for a moment. Breathe. Each day may be different. Trust that when you no longer disappoint yourself, you are honoring the most important relationship you will ever have.

Should you never argue? If you are human, and you live on this planet, and you have a beating heart, you will find moments of contraction, difficulty, and the possibility of an argument. That’s okay. It’s how you respond that matters most. Release the heat. Fan the flame of acceptance. Return to calm. Allow your heart to be tender. Practice forgiveness.

And when’s the best time to have heart to heart intentional dialogue? As soon as possible. Face to face, heart to heart, tender eye gaze to tender eye gaze if possible. Should you desire to learn how to have this intentional dialogue, click here to set up a free call with me to see if coaching is a viable option for you.

We can learn to agree that we each have different values. How do we hang on to those values? We must trust ourselves to no longer abandon ourselves. We must trust. Period.

Join us monthly in a free virtual gathering to focus on What Matters Most.

Here’s the Zoom Link for the Second Saturday Show of What Matters Most

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *