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Cut thru chaos

trifecta of bliss

Are you more mind-full or mindful in this moment?

Hello again. Thank you for reading my updates. Your time is just as valuable as mine and my purpose for sharing how I’m negotiating my energy on a daily basis as a relational health coach is to uplift you to have extraordinary relations with Self, Other, and Spirit.

Last week’s email update was full of personal challenges and I wanted to take a moment to share a bit how I cope. Here’s a beautiful chant I play daily that has helped hugely with the recent death of my father-in-law.

Akaal

The key to all of it, the “so muchness” of what is going on, is to be mindful. To pause and notice. And in moments of awareness, to notice my noticing.

How do I feel in my body temple now? What are the sensations of my present experience? Coming back to my senses is key in being grounded in the present moment. Turning my life over to a higher power is key in surfing the emotional waves of life without drowning in overwhelm. Breathing and cultivating gratitude are my daily practices.

I know what being mind-full is like. For me it’s that itty-bitty-shitty-committee that wakes me at 2am demanding I think about life, death, and every possible worry in between. Shifting into mindful consciousness is when I can take the reign of my magnifying mind and focus on gratitude and embodied presence.


Here’s a few nudges to cut thru chaos in these simple ways:
1. breath practice
2. gratitude practice
3. media diet


1. breath practice

breathing in, i know i am breathing in
breathing out, i know i am breathing out

in 
out

mind wanders to the next worrisome thought
discursive thoughts distort serenity
habitual hydraulics of hypersensitivity hijack wellbeing

return again to a mindfulness breath practice

breathing in
breathing out

in
out

2. gratitude practice

craft a daily gratitude list:
(for example):
1) sobriety
2) sunrise in shades of pink and purple
3) full moon eclipsed by clouds

A-Z gratitude practice
what starts with “a” that you appreciate?
“b”?’
“c”?
typically you’ll fall asleep before arriving at “z”

upon awakening smile before feet kiss the earth

continue the gratitude practice by writing 100 things you appreciate about yourself. Yes, you. A hard, worthwhile endeavor for all of us. In this, you’ll be overriding the tormentor left over from yesterday (your self critic). And cultivating a higher Self of resilience, compassion and service who is tender, powerful and generous. 

3. media diet

Watching media diet is important also. Gently asking, am I tethered to my devices in a way that they control and demand my attention or are my devices on my leash, able to be trained and contained?

My attention is precious. So is yours. Harness it now.

Take good care of yourselves and spread Aloha. 

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how to spark transformation

writing
Aloha Dear One, 

If you’re anything like me, you want to evolve beyond your fears and elevate the space around you. Being an active participant in my healing journey to live an extraordinary life of everyday enlightenment requires daily practices. One of these is foundational to wellbeing: keeping a journal.

Noticing the story we tell ourselves, and being courageous enough to write a new ending to this chapter of life allow us to live a good life and be of maximum service to others.

We change in here to ignite out there.

We can spark transformation by cultivating a writing practice. 

Here’s a few highlights from an article called Journal Writing as a Powerful Adjunct to Therapy by Kathleen Adams. M.A., LPC to inspire us all to reimagine our relationship with writing:

10 Reasons Why (journal writing is a powerful adjunct to therapy)

One. Immediacy and Availability. A journal teaches containment, present-centeredness, and self-direction. The journal truly is “life’s companion.”

Two. Catharsis. It’s vitally important to have a place to scream, rant, rave, ventilate and express without fear of judgment or reprisal.

Three. Object Constancy. The relationship with the journal can become a living metaphor for the relationship with self, and from there, the relationship with others. 

Four. Repetition. One of the most important therapeutic tasks for people in pain is to break the silence and tell the story.

Five. Reality Check. It is true that writing it down makes it much more difficult to continue a pattern of denial.

Six. Self-Pacing. The self-pacing aspects of the journal can become a way of regulating and monitoring the life process, of learning balance and choice-making and natural consequences.

Seven. Communication. The journal becomes a forum, a testing ground for ideas, opinions, awarenesses, fears, and insights that are moving from the pre-verbal to the verbal realm.

Eight. Self-Esteem. The very act of journal writing, in which thought is put into tangible expression, is a life-affirming celebration of self: I write, therefore I am. I exist. I have a voice. It can be heard.

Nine. Clarity and Commitment. The process of reflective writing has a cumulative effect; after weeks or months of journaling, one may discover, I no longer have to be a victim.

Ten. A Witness to Healing. The journal is a wonderful witness, it provides an ongoing trail map and trip log of the journey of healing.

There is no right or wrong way to journal. Reply and tell me about your practice now.
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Elements of Everyday Enlightenment

heartwise

Aloha Dear One, 

I’ve been metabolizing a lot of grief lately. 

Recently, a beloved colleague, friend and sister-in-sobriety died of ALS. Diagnosed in January, her body shut down rapidly as I imagine her mind sharpened and her heart widened. She gave us, our family, all of whom loved and adored her, a tremendous and bewildering gift. The gift of her confidence. Her powerful knowing that, “in the bigger picture” she was okay.

That the insight of knowing that she is enough, this world is enough, and we are all enough was a powerful reminder of how much we, collectively, struggle with scarcity mindsets. Lack energy breeds fear and keeps us isolated.

I want you to know I see your brilliant sanity. Your enough-ness. And I’m ready to circle up with you virtually. Ready to meet regularly in Zoom through the end of the year?

I know I dreamed and dared to mention  in-person retreats in Hawaii, I’m just not ready to release dates or details. I’ve had no resources (literally or energetically) to put toward it.

Thank you for your patience. Stay tuned…

For now, let’s gather in my Zoom Room on Wednesday mornings at 9:30 – 10:45 Hawaii time.

Remember, my Zoom rooms are intimate gatherings where I ask you to be fully present and engaged. I’m looking for a minimum of 5 and maximum of 14 people to show up, starting next week, to do the deeper dive into extraordinary living.

Elements of Everyday Enlightenment is the lofty name of this gathering that I humbly offer to host as your guide from the side, versus pretending to be a sage from the stage.

More details:

Elements of Everyday Enlightenment, a 12-week virtual gathering

Based on personal experience

Contributed by Amy Elizabeth Gordon, M.A., Licensed Imago Therapist & Relational Health Coach

Shatter the Illusion

There is a pervasive illusion that enlightenment happens on a mountaintop for men and women who have taken vows of epic proportion and somehow float above everyday life. Let’s try the householder’s version of enlightenment. We can  practice the principles of our own chosen standard. We can determine what enlightenment looks and feels like for us. 

Everyday enlightenment is achieved through mundane discipline to spiritual practices. These practices are through my viewpoint and completely colored by my personal experience. It may be different for you. All I ask if for your open-mindedness to consider the possibility that some of these may spark your own brilliant sanity to shine forth a wee bit brighter. To shine your own inner light on what sparks enlightenment in your life.

Intention: Deeper Dive into 12 distinctions of an extraordinary life

Moving from despair to repair requires loyalty to an extraordinary way of living that uplifts the world through radical self-enlightenment and unconditional forgiveness. My intention is to provide the map of how I got where I am today, in hopes of inspiriting others to own their sovereignty and use their power as a strong inner guidance system to cultivate an extraordinary life of everyday enlightenment. We will explore in more depth the 12 distinctions of extraordinary life; these are the ideas I’ve contemplated and taught for years.

Need support?

Is doing what you’ve been doing getting you where you want to be? If you are anything like me, you come from hard times. Me? I’ve been robbed, raped and ridiculed; abused, abandoned and assaulted; kidded, kicked and kept. By myself. And by others. And yet all my lofty efforts kept me hustling.

Quite simply, I was creating a life of strife through positive intentions. Yet the non-stop striving didn’t get me where I wanted to be. Regenerating relationships through daily spiritual maintenance is what helped in my life.

Stop striving and surrender to thriving. That’s what’s worked for me. Thriving in everyday enlightenment, tolerating discomfort, and no longer manufacturing my own misery. This is for people who are not in crisis or dangerous circumstances. Reach out for help and contact me if you don’t know where to turn.

Each week we will explore a mundane spiritual practice. We’ll do a deeper dive into how the distinction can anchor our intentions. And we will ground in an elemental feature for additional inspiration. (see more juicy details below)

Satisfaction guaranteed

Our time together gathering in my Zoom Room will be uplifting, engaging, and energizing.

Cost: opportunity to pay what you can love offering:

suggested cost is $1200

this includes 3 private calls w/ me (if you desire)

Cost Objections: You may be quite cozy in your comfort zone with daily judgements and resentments brewing. Enlightenment has a high cost. And it’s not about spiritual materialism, like buying the right yoga mat or special aromatherapy.

It’s the cost of freedom. Releasing the toxic trio of shame, blame and criticism. Of self and others. Daily.  Investing in this Gathering is up to you. A love offering makes cost objection obsolete.

Mark your calendars:

  1. September 28, 2022
  2. October 5, 2022
  3. October 12, 2022
  4. October 19, 2022
  5. October 26, 2022
  6. November 2, 2022
  7. November 9, 2022
  8. November 16, 2022
  9. November 23, 2022
  10. November 30, 2022
  11. December 7, 2022
  12. December 14, 2022

TIME OF DAY: Wednesdays at 9:30 – 10:45am Hawaii Time. 12:30pm Pacific. 3:30pm Eastern. click here for time zone converter

Time Objections: You may be busy enough already and are cautious to not take on more practices in your already busy life (which is perhaps riddled with good intentions). I’m here to nudge you. Anybody has 20 minutes to do something. That’s what it takes, in my opinion, at a minimum, to do your daily spiritual practices.  After this weekly investment of an hour in our Gathering, you will have designed your own 20-minute practice that resonates in your tender heart.

Visualization

Imagine, if you will, stepping into your own sovereignty. Sovereignty in a pure sense of the word. To quit blaming, shaming and criticizing others. Watching what goes in your mouth, body, eyes, ears. Being fully responsible for how you show up to each day. Quitting waiting for time to show some better thoughts. 

Action

Sign up by sending me an email to [email protected] with subject line: Gathering.

First 14 responses fill this group’s capacity. Feel free to invite your beloved or friend. They will need their own registration, their own computer (or Zoom square).

More juicy details

Gathering 1. Practice: Arriving Here. Distinction: trust. Element: sunrise

Gathering 2. Practice: Nurturing Sovereignty. Distinction: focus. Element: ocean

Gathering 3. Practice: Learning to Listen & Finding Forgiveness. Distinction: repair. Element: clouds

Gathering 4. Practice: Metabolizing Grief. Distinction: faith. Element: earth

Gathering 5. Practice: Eliminating Excess. Distinction: clarity. Element: air

Gathering 6. Practice: Releasing Resentments Distinction: openness. Element: fire

Gathering 7. Practice: Titrating Anxiety. Distinction: Reactivation. Element: water

Gathering 8. Practice: Pacing Oneself & Surviving Stillness. Distinction: energy. Element: moon

Gathering 9. Practice: Cultivating Serenity & Silence. Distinction: interdependence. Element: stars

Gathering 10. Practice: Embodying Enough. Distinction: Responsibility. Element: sunset

Gathering 11. Practice: Generating Gratitude. Distinction: generosity. Element: trees

Gathering 12. Practice: Celebrating Completion. Distinction: consciousness. Element: planet

These gatherings are live. Please commit to at least 10 of the 12 sessions. No recordings.

Email me with your questions, concerns or commitment.

Your matter. 

Your relationships matter. 

Warmly,

Amy  

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Guilt as a Guide

moonshot

Aloha Dear One, 

As humans, we mess up, just look around. There’s a lot to feel guilty for. The tendency I grew up with was to feel guilty and then blame myself for whatever mess met me at the front door of my heart.

Intensity of Life

Basically I carried the weight of the world on my shoulders. I tried to soothe myself by getting chip-faced with a pint of Ben -n- Jerry’s ice cream. None of this got me where I wanted to me: a positive point of power and light on this planet. 

Listen to the difference: 

If you’re anything like me, you let that blame, stemming from the guilt of doing something wrong, fester into toxic shame. Then comes the shameful story of being something wrong.

  • doing something wrong/bad (that’s guilt)
  • being something wrong/bad (that’s shame)

Guilt is a Guide

Guilt is a guide when I pause to honor the wisdom within the warm wash of ick. It is vital information that I’m obviously not on the right path. I get to pivot and recalibrate.

Pause. Breathe. Reset. 

I pause, breathe, reset. I ask myself these self-inquiry questions, with compassionate curiosity:

  • Reality check: What really happened here?
  • What have I done wrong?
  • Could I do something differently?
  • What needs my attention?
  • Can I repair here?

The next time your feel that warm wash of guilt, I invite you to Pause. Breathe. Reset. Contemplate the questions. 

Let me know how this lands for you.

Big love & tenderness,

Amy

Amy Elizabeth Gordon, MA|Relationship Doula

My favorite quote lately:

 “Combatting hatred” is combatting a symptom.

~Charles Eisenstein 

p.s. Mark your calendar for Friday, August 20th at noon Pacific time for the Masterclass on ENERGY, with my special guest, Kekuhi.

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Who you are being is reflective of the change you wish to see in the world.

light in the cave

Dear One. 

As I’m sitting here I’m experiencing 

As I’m sitting here I’m experiencing pain in my right hip and confusion of the recent discovery of osteoarthritis. I just received my results from an X-ray last week indicating spurring of my hip and my mother says, “there’s nothing you can do about it.” 

Where I’m from

Where I’m from is a Caucasian lineage of allowing pain to become suffering and generating a tone of stoic and psychic discontentment. My family doesn’t pay attention to vibes or energy or the transformative power of healing body/mind/soul. Now one discussed our interdependence. Somehow, I do. 

Where I’d like to be

Where I’d like to be is feeling the feels, inviting the healing, all without manufacturing my own misery with a “woe is me” tone to my inner dialogue. I’d like to acknowledge the rigidity and frozenness of historical trauma caused by white body supremacy that lives in my White body. I’d like to understand how this lives in my cells, in my ancestors, and I’d like to be a part of the regenerative shift that needs to happen.

One thing I can do

One thing I can do to get me there is to lovingly acknowledge not only the pain, suffering and healing I’ve been through, but also honor what Black bodies go through, and vow to see how my experience can benefit others. 

What Matters Most

What Matters Most is metabolizing the pain so that it doesn’t fester into suffering or resentment. Using anger as information and energy. Notice that boundaries need to be re-established and be willing to tolerate greater discomfort.  

How can I be willing to set right what is wrong?

What can I do?

These are essential questions to contemplate for collective wellbeing.

I consider myself a Compassion Activist. And I experience anger. One thing that fuels my anger is the institutionalized racism that erodes the human soul and the respective communities that ripple out from the soul-sickness. 

Anger and compassion are not mutually exclusive.

One thing I appreciate

One thing I appreciate is author, healer, trauma specialist Resmaa Menakem’s  talk yesterday at the Science and Wisdom of Emotions summit about Somatic Abolitionism. He reminded us that Individual wokeness is insufficient, we must help others. Here’s some of the nuggets I gleaned from him and I strongly invite you to tune-in to him if this lands with you. He states: 

Compassion is not for the feint at heart. It means you’ve been through some stuff and are able to touch some softness in yourself.The somatic collapses, constrictions and speediness in white body supremacy means we never slow down to feel it.We gotta feel it to heal it. We gotta grow compassion without doing a spiritual bypass and wanting everyone to just get along. Let’s dive into our “toybox” rather than our “toolbox” to do the essential healing required whatever the color of our skin. 

What are you doing today to be the change you wish to see in the world?

Lately I’ve kept my discoveries and personal process to myself and I’ve received the universal nudge that I’ve got to keep sharing my thoughts about the regeneration needed for human hearts to endure this time of epic transformation and for all of us to thrive.

Hit reply and let me know if you, too, wish to heal your body, tenderize yourself heart, and take a stand to save the world. 

You matter. Your relationships matter. 

Warmly,

Amy | Relational Health Guide 

schedule a heart-storming phone call or an empowering communication clarity Zoom

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Moonshot Magic: Declaring & Committing to Something Extraordinary

moonshot

check out this article I wrote for Best Self Media

https://bestselfmedia.com/moonshot-magic/

One woman’s journey to an extraordinary life — from addiction and disconnection to seizing life in all of its sacredness, opportunity and exquisite beauty 

—

There is tremendous sacredness in the seemingly mundane. Ordinary life avails us ample opportunities to connect with a deeper appreciation and grounded sense of gratitude. From this place, ordinary life, I fully recognize that Source sources me. 

Living in Hawaiʻi has granted me the opportunity to find the peaceful paradise within myself. Sure, the outside conditions are exquisite here in this tropical and abundant beauty. 

Yet there is truth in the notion of no escape; wherever we go, there we are. 

READ MORE HERE