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Step into the Portal of Ritual

Christmas wishes

Step into the portal of ritual. This time of year rings of ritual and meaning for many and echoes of emptiness and longing for many more. This being human is relentless, it is an ending chore of intake, release, repeat. What is the portal of ritual that you enter this time of year? Today is Winter Solstice. 

Ingest, Digest, Assimilate, Eliminate. Inhale, Delight, Exhale, Wonder

The dark of the night comes. The winds, the rain, the snow, the surf, all swirling around the seemingly static features in life.

What is the portal of ritual that you enter this time of year? Today is Winter Solstice. winter solstice ritual

lake taupo

 A Ceremony to honor this time of year. Our family travelled to Aotearoa and this photo was in front of Lake Taupo, Aotearoa with Hālau ʻŌhiʻa, our Hawaiʻi lifeways.

Solstice, longest night of the year. Earlier this week we choose to celebrate bringing back the light and honoring the dark. For a special night we host a candle gift exchange and simple quality time with friends. It is a ritual to sit in the dark with friends, no devices, and light candles and sing. It is sacred. 

In our family, we also celebrate Christmas, with our special expansion of the energy of this event. Christmas Wishes- a Gordon ʻOhana (family) tradition to spread out the joy (and remind our kids, and ourselves, that the true happiness in life is not about materialistic things!!!)

CHRISTMAS W.I.S.H.E.S. 20-25th of December

*Warmth : the energy of life.

World hugs and Heart fire! (when we lived in the Pacific NW we knitted scarves and hats and bought new wool layers. Here we get new sun-shirts if need). You can generate warmth by doing breath of fire (yogic breathwork).

*Illumination : the bringing of the light

– stoke the inner flame (we make candles, luminaries, fires). You can generate illumination through breath of fire and imagine it is igniting the inner fire within you. 

*Sweetness : the sweetness of life, hugs, kisses,

and yummy eats, too (chocolate or organic treats) (Toby wants his own organic egg nog). You can generate sweetness by allowing that inner fire to soften your succulent cells with the sweetness of unconditional love, love that is not contingent upon anything else.

*Health : our true wealth

we take a family walk, hike or swim together (we stock up on vitamins or acupuncture or massage). 

You can generate health by recognizing how good the sensation of love is in your being. The oxytocin, the God chemical, the substance of life generates wholesomeness in your being.

*Earth : air, fire and water

habitation of humanity, nurturing personal responsibility (we pick up trash, plant trees, mālama ʻāina, take care of the earth). 

You can generate earth by allowing the gods to guide your feet, treading lightly with each step, each consumption, each interaction.

*Santa : saint of spirited giving

Good behavior, respect, and we decide on one global charity to donate to, this year to help with bees and goats and trees for communities in need. The spirit of generosity is also demonstrated through gift giving.

You can generate the spirit of generosity by adding to the space between in each interaction.

Speaking kindly, honestly, and wholeheartedly, these rituals are most needed and welcome on this planet.

Warmest wishes to all of you! In whatever portal you enter the sacred. Love.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Know Your Bigger Why in Life

know your why

It is essential to know your bigger why in life. Identify where you want to be in your relationship with your beloved. Focus on one action you can take to help get you there. Have accountability with a coach, therapist, or trusted friend. And by all means, know your why. This serves as fuel to keep you committed, keep you focused, and keep you willing.

Relationships take work. No doubt about it, they do. It is so easy to get overwhelmed with the whole thing and succumb to focusing on what is not working. Please don’t despair. Problem is we expect others to read our minds. We expect others to change. To make us happy. We loose sight of our why and we loose motivation to bring our best self forth.

You deserve to have the relationship of your dreams but you gotta know your dreams. What is your why? If it’s for the kids, dig deeper. If it’s for the convenience, scratch the surface to see what’s underneath. Bring mindfulness and loving awareness to your presence on this planet. We need you. You matter and your relationships matter.

A League of Extraordinary Couples

Here’s the thing, we need to know our whys and live them loud and proud. Presently I’m in the process of interviewing folks for my next online show, A League of Extraordinary Couples. And it is too sad to hear many responses such as, “I don’t know many people in extraordinary relationships. And if I do they don’t want to talk about it, much less be interviewed.” WHAT?

Self, Other, and Spirit

No wonder the world is falling apart at the seams. Wake up folks. The time is now to recognize that we live in a relational reality. The quality of the relationships we have with Self, Other, and Spirit are the glue that holds the fabric of our societies together. This is the S.O.S. of our times. Know the big why we want a good life. Know the big why regarding why we are committed to our Self, to Other, and to Spirit.

My big why

A dear friend asked me to go deeper in my posts, so here I go.

My big why—I’m committed to myself because I’m a loving and sober woman of integrity on a movement to grow compassion and heal the planet, one relationship at a time. I’m a loving and committed wife to my beloved husband Marc–My big why is because when I advocate for his wellbeing, part of me grows and heals and stretches into a more holistic way of being. I’m a loving and vibrant vessel for Spirit to shine forth–My big why is because when I create space for grace, my soul welcomes in even more of the Creative Spirit of the Universe and I’m of maximum service to God and my fellows. It creates a loving spiral of strength and sustainable energy.

My deeper why

My deeper why is because I’ve been on the other side of healthy relations with Self, Other, and Spirit.  Surviving abuse, trauma and addiction, I’ve also mistreated others and felt the consequences of my actions. Questioning Spirit and feeling condemned. I’ve been to hell and I don’t want to go back. Therefore, I found my why.

That’s my deeper why. If you are interested in more of my personal story of transformation, you’re in luck. My first published book is on the way. My baby is coming, I’m in labor at this very moment. Exhilarating and a bit surreal, I must admit it is both. Stay tuned…

Call to action:

I’d be honored to know your big why? What gets you out of bed in the morning? What’s your purpose? I’d love to know. Please share below. I thank you, in advance, for your time and attention to your own bigger why.

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Meditation retreat reflections

Buddha

If you tire of the struggle,

love your life.

Vulnerability is next to godliness.

Mary taught me to let the soft animal of my body

love what it loves.

Let go of the purity path.

Rest in divine love

rather than circumstantial love.

Bring breath to the cells;

train in a new way of being.

bodhisattva spring
i sat on top of you, when i moved, you bloomed

Embody the insight:

Let Love Rule.

Trying to get rid of unwanted thoughts,

makes them want to hang around,

to see what they will miss.

Rejecting states of mind,

solidifies right and wrong,

strengthens isolation, and

feeds the illusion.

Rejoice, good sangha-

rejoice.

The mountain sings

praises to the flowing river.

For the steadfast stones,

the drifting branches,

the swimming salmon.

Surviving.

Writhing.

Thriving.

 

I pulled this one from the drafts page of my blog. This statue was in my front yard in Washington. I moved her and the flowers bloomed. I miss Washington where we had salmon in the creeks and trumpeter swans in the sky. Aloha Finnriver Farm. We hosted weekly meditations in our living room. Walking meditation on the land. We invited meditation to quell our insecurities as young parents and global stewards. Center Valley Sangha, Crystie Kisler, Finnriver Farm, mahalo nui loa.

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Appreciation for “Please” vs. “Perhaps”

sunrise appreciation

Gratitude gets you where you want to go. Building a culture of appreciation matters.

Take a look at two similar expressions:

Please own your role as a silence breaker.

vs.

Perhaps you are a silence breaker?

or

Please consider my perspective on this matter.

vs.

Perhaps you could consider me here?

or

Please do what I ask you to do now or let me know when you will, thanks.

vs.

Perhaps you could do this for me?

Which resonates more fully with you?

Stop questioning and start soliciting.

Which is stronger?

Please experiment with communicating more assertively.

vs.

Perhaps you might want to try this?

Please, thank you. 

 

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Gratitude Year Round

gratitude

Year round gratitude is a practice worthy of exploration. Here are twelve tip of encouragement to invite into your life, now.

Absence, Neutrality, Support

1. Pay attention to the things you don’t have…a sore throat that goes away, a noisy and nosey neighbor that moves away, a core scene of annoyance with a loved one that doesn’t happen as often, with the same intensity, or for the same duration.

2. Pay attention to the neutral moments and watch them transform into positive moments. At the holiday dinner table this year, there was no drama, no anxiety, no drunkenness. As we reflected on this at day’s end, we smiled and gave thanks.

3. Pay attention to what support looks like for the people in front of you and the opportunities to be of service. In the past I swung between “it’s all up to me” and “there’s nothing I can do” (neither of which is true) and now I simply ask, “how can I help?” From this place of genuine concern, I truly tune into my willingness in this moment to love even more, and do what I can to make the world a better place.

Nature, Body, Reality

4. Pay attention to the sky. The quality of the sunlight, the dancing display of clouds, the stars and moon imperceptible in their movement, the trees losing leaves.

5. Pay attention to your feet: Rub and massage them for all they have accomplished, for the miles they have carried you, for the uplifted nature they allow. How can we not have gratitude for our feet?

6. Pay attention to water: The faucet that turns on and produces, the rain that fills the lake, the one ocean that connects us all in the bigger perspective of life.

7. Pay attention to the energetic exchange with animals, vegetables and minerals: the purr of the cat, the bark of the dog, the wag of the tail, the buzz of the bee, the strength of garlic and red onion, the grounding quality of sea salt on your tongue.

8. Pay attention to gravity, a power greater than yourself that is always present.

Breath, Enough, Money, Life

9. Pay attention to your breath, effortlessly, endlessly, easily keeping you alive. Instant gratitude.

10. Pay attention to those moments of feeling well rested, loved, loving and enough. They exist and they nourish the soul. The act of noticing them increases their positive influence on our overall wellbeing.

11. Pay attention to money, sharing appreciation for all the freedom is affords you. Borrow what Marie Forleo says when she spends it, “there is more where that came from.”

12. Pay attention to the great good fortune of being alive. If you struggle with remembering this, go on a media fast and don’t let in the negative for at least 30 days. Be willing to experiment with your life. Be a force for good by cultivating a grateful heart and living in gratitude year round.

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Tree of Sorrow

Sorrow and grief arise this time of year as the leaves fall more readily and nights darken more quickly. Dominant culture invites frivolity and feasting, yet let us not forget time to contemplate the darkness within and without as well. It’s both, and.

Tree of Sorrow

This is a story of the tree of sorrow, as I remember it.

In the center of the village, stood a tree.

On this tree people hung their sorrows and regrets and challenges.

The people walked around this huge tree, and gazed at all of the sorrows and struggles. Circumambulating and contemplating.

Asked to select something from the tree, people invariably picked a struggle familiar to them, known to them, and something worth healing; their own lives.

Take home: own your story, change the ending, choose thriving over striving. 

And from Mary Oliver,

The Uses of Sorrow

(In my sleep I dreamed this poem)

 

Someone I loved once gave me
a box full of darkness.

It took me years to understand
that this, too, was a gift.

 

And finally, from Rumi,

The Guest House

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
As an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.