Where I’m from, my parent’s love for me was rooted in worry, anxiety and dread.
“I’m anxious to see you.” (Mom said each time I planned a trip home)
“Be careful.” (Mom uttered every time I left the house)
“You’re too sensitive.” (Dad chided me to be more tough — so I didn’t get hurt so much)
And yet was I was told, repeatedly, was that they loved me and they wanted me to be happy. Yet the energetic exchange was negatively charged.
In my adulthood, through the journey of conscious partnership, connected parenting, and ongoing sobriety, I’ve learned a few replacements:
wonder replaces worry
delight replaces doubt
rejoice replaces regret
And thus I return to my true nature. The childlike wonder, delight and ability to rejoice is still in me. And you, too. Experience liberation from negativity. When we quit worrying we allow space for wonder to emerge. Worry is praying for things we don’t want. Free up that energy with a glance up at the cloud or the stars right now.
Pause. Breathe. Reset.
These extraordinary benefits of right living — experiencing daily delight, wonder and rejoicing in the sober mind and tender heart–become rather ordinary and mundane.
So instead of consuming (I just deleted more social media apps from my phone), I’m contemplating my true nature. If you’re anything like me, social media drums up old love exchanges: worry, doubt, regret.
Clearing up clutter of distractions and releasing the pinch of judgement and tech anxiety brings relief. Clarity of mind and openness of heart are glimpses of everyday enlightenment. This, dear one, is a worthwhile journey. I’m delighted to be your guide from the side.
My master’s degree is in Contemplative Psychology. To contemplate is to allow the divine in. Years of practice working with my own mind and tenderizing my own heart cultivates bodhicitta: enlightened mind and awakened heart (same thing).
The last few weeks I’ve noticed that my heart feels heavy when I awaken in the morning. Breathing helps, but gravity wins. My mind begins the race and my body is too tuckered to make it to the track.
The masters say, “You are not your thoughts,” This makes sense. Yet my thoughts do create my reality so they are important to pay attention to. My heart is speaking to me. Reminding me to surrender to gravity. Inviting me to ground in gratitude. Encouraging me to feel the grief that surrounds me.
Inviting my daily and grounding mantra, I am a tender, powerful, generous woman, I feel a wee bit of the heaviness lifting. I ask my husband to place his hand on my heart, I feel a bit more release. I call on my spirit guides and angels and ancestors to lend me the energy to get moving, once again.
Remember, Dear Reader, asking for help is a strength, not a weakness.
I’m on a path of heart. Listening, deeply, I ask for and willingly receive, support. We may never know Why? this happened. As I often remind my clients, let’s shift from asking “Why” as in, “Why did this happen”, which inevitably leads to another “why”, and shift to Wise. For a moment, let’s shift from the Whys and consider the Wise.
Wise mind guides us on the path of heart.
Be living a path of heart. There is strength here.
Perhaps you have struggles that you would like to release. Maybe your path of heart is too wide, too circuitous and does not get you where you want to be. Or perhaps you feel constricted by the pinch of the overwhelm of life. Either way, you deserve support, inspiration, and accountability.
this includes 3 private calls w/ Amy (if you desire)
Action:
Sign up by sending me an email to [email protected] with subject line: Gathering.
First 14 responses fill this group’s capacity. Feel free to invite your beloved or friend. They will need their own registration and their own Zoom square.
These gatherings are live. Please commit to at least 10 of the 12 sessions. No recordings.
Who is Amy?
Facilitated by Amy Elizabeth Gordon, M.A., Licensed Imago Therapist & Relational Health Coach
Amy Elizabeth Gordon, founder of gig called life coaching, llc, is a published author, relationship doula and compassion activist. Through power in partnership, she thrives and lives an extraordinary life.
Cutting through the chaotic and distracted energies of dominant culture, opening minds riddled with lack, and rekindling souls hungry for connection, Amy is a dedicated sober woman of integrity who sees her roles as wife, mother, daughter, coach, yogini, paddler, hula dancer, and fellow human being as an ever-expanding opportunity to heal the planet.
A lifelong student, Amy has spent several decades advocating for big compassion, healthy relationships, and holistic wellbeing. Her professional training includes a Master of Arts in Contemplative Psychology from Naropa University, Nationally Certified Addictions Counselor, Certified Imago International Relationship Therapist, and Certified Parent Coach.
Additionally, Amy is a founding member of Hālau ʻŌhiʻa, a Stewardship Training program bridging indigenous lifeways and modern technology in a fruitful foundation for the future.
As a relationship doula and relational health coach, she weaves the arc of connection of addiction recovery, relational healing and contemplative practice to cultivate maximum health with Self, Other and Spirit. She invites us to reimagine our relationships and dwell in our tender and powerful hearts in a way that is indeed miraculous.
It’ been a minute since I last wrote. Over a month in fact. Did you notice? I’ve been traveling a bit again, all the while practicing radical rest and quality time to connect. Simultaneously. Both active engagement and energetic exchanges of excellence as well as juicy solitude, rejuvenation and time to assimilate all that is going on around me. Life gets lifey (as my beloved Mary would say). And life right now is particularly LIFEY.
Having time, energy, and ability to rest and connect are the fruits of my labor of cultivating the most extraordinary relationships possible with Self/Other/Spirit. I’m grateful. More blessings than I can say grace over. Rich beyond measure.
And I’m headed to the mainland again, this time all the way to Maine to take Everett for his freshman year at Bowdoin College. I will be back to my fall schedule on Sept. 7. If you are desirous of a relational health tune-up, you make sense to me. It’s time to re-evaluate what matters most: relationships. We get to figure out how to interact (more lovingly) with others (and ourselves) in this changing world.
I have a couple of openings for new clients and if you respond before September 7, I will offer you a special 3-hour deep dive initial session as part of our agreement ($1k value)!
In the meantime, I wanted to share with you a powerful interview that a beloved client just shared with me. It’s called “Reclaiming Aloha” and it speaks to me on so many levels and I hope it serves you as well. Please let me know what you get from it.
There is no more valuable work than developing relationships — and — no more difficult work than maintaining them.
Think of a relational health tune-up like going to the dentist. You know you need your teeth strong and healthy. You know you need your relationships with yourself and others strong and healthy. Let me know what support looks like.
Your matter. Your relationships matter. Warmly,Amy
This past weekend was an opportunity for me to rest deeply. Napping three days in a row, I metabolized the 2nd vaccine shot and felt a swollen tenderness in my armpit of unusual proportion. Here are some ways I used this swollen tenderness, this restful weekend, and really the last year:
Swollen Tenderness Practice
a mindfulness practice, noticing my yoga practice is vital to my wellbeing. It requires reaching with my arm, doing downward dog, pulling on my armpit, and so many other activities of daily living require and benefit from this stretch!
a reminder that I’m willing to care for others in a way my selfish (read this clear example:”I don’t need the vaccine”) part of me doesn’t. Prior to the pandemic, I opted out of many vaccines. a demonstration of how I shifted from the extremes and became more “middle way’ in my approach to communal health. (see above)
a curiosity as my in-laws, in their mid-70s, had little to no reaction to their 2nd shot and my friends and I did? (a reminder “we” are not me; we all respond differently to life.)
a reminder to tap into my tenderness over and over again: Releasing the pain of my right hip and embracing the tenderness of my lymph system doing its job. an opportunity to be grateful for what I have and what I don’t. I don’t have a list of family and friends who died in the pandemic. I have privilege. (How do I use it for good is a vital question for me)
an inspiration for me to share and be grateful I know myself even more after the last year of the big pause. (I hope you do, too.)
Mother’s Day 2021
On Sunday, Mother’s Day, I cherished the time with my boys. Snuggling and reviewing assertive communication skills and sharing joys of familial connection. I realized after our hour long huddle/cuddle puddle about this very topic that Everett and I actually taught a Masterclass on it years ago.
Here’s a recording of this golden nugget. The link is below and it is also embedded in one of my favorite photos of him when he won the “Compassion Award” three years ago.
This week we are exploring the 3 Realms we dwell in which I wrote about in my transformational memoir, Moonshot: aim high, dive deep, live an extraordinary life. If you would like to purchase my memoir from an independent seller, my friend Mary has some on the mainland she can mail more easily than I can so please send me your interest and we’ll make arrangements. I also just found a great new link buying books at bookshop.org
whew, I digress, back to the topic:
These 3 Realms are Resilience, Compassion, and Service.
In essence, we feel the tender heart of sadness in order to heal it. We remember we are connected to others in order to live an extraordinary life of everyday enlightenment and uplift the world.
As I learned in my professional training in Imago Therapy, we are wounded in relationship, and it is in relationship that we are healed.
We dwell in the Realm of Service
we live and breathe interdependence
we practice response-ability
we practice generosity: we give to live
we choose wisely to uplift our consciousness
Service ordinary definition: the act of helping or doing work for someone
Service extraordinary definition: the way of living that uplifts the world
Ready to join me in the new extraordinary story of tenderness and uplifting the world vs. the old story of toughen up and suffer? Great, letʻs talk, hit reply now, leave your number and time zone, and we’ll hop on the phone.
With much Aloha,
Amy Elizabeth Gordon MA
Relational Health Coach & Compassion Activist
clear your mind
open your heart
rekindle your spirit
energize your life
p.s. Here’s a panel interview I had earlier this year with 3 powerful beings (including my beloved, Marc) to discuss service.
