Did you know that when we communicate there are actually up to 4 conversations going on — simultaneously?
1. The one you think in your head.
2. The one you actually say.
3. The one the other person(s) hear(s).
4. The one you wish you had said.
One thing I’m particularly grateful for is getting through my mom’s recent death and entering the holiday season strong with healthy communication with family of origin and my in-laws.
Sure, it’s work, but it’s so flippin’ rewarding. It’s freeing to feel the lack of energy drain. To feel resourced. To put my head to the pillow at night without rehashing what he said, what I should have said, and second guessing myself and/or judging others.
It’s truly liberating.
If you’d like some helpful tips (and lots of wonderful hyperlinks for resources), please check out this article by my fellow Imago colleague, Jeannie Ingram.