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pause and celebrate the balance of light and dark

journey of transformation
happy equinox


Can you pause and celebrate the balance of light & dark?

Happy Equinox: the time of balance of light and dark as the sun moves across the sky. And during this time of Piko O Wakea, Autumnal Equinox in Hawai’i, we ask for focus, grounding, and stability. One of the key ways I generate and receive this is from my supportive communities, and you are a part of that greater community.

Today, my Beloved husband, Marc, and his father, Jim, are in Switzerland having their last moments together. Jim, now 80, decided upon a VAD (voluntary assisted death) due to his Alzheimer’s. Both his parents and sister died of it in long-term care facilities and Jim firmly did not want such an experience for himself. 

Marc will be back on the Big Island next Friday, full moon, where he continues the on-going support of his mother, Kath, as she approaches her “completion day” with M.A.I.D. (medical aid in dying), which is legal in Hawai’i. She stopped her chemo earlier this year. Both his parents, though recently divorced, live with us. 


Personally, I’m emotionally tuckered and relatively neutral about these events — not morally opposed, nor staunchly in favor.

Rather, I’m an attentive observer, watching it unfold and coping/supporting/floundering along these uncharted waters. And, I quit trying to save their marriage! I pray for peace for all of us.

I’ve taken this break from regular emails to you in order to process family matters and my own journey into menopause; focusing more on sleep, running, and meditating, all while working and tending to family and house and garden needs. 

Thank you for reading and offering any support, understanding, and Aloha at this time. Hope you are all well and I look forward to future connection. Be well

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Here’s a few nudges to celebrate the balance of light and dark at this time of year in these simple ways:

1. light a candle to remember all you have to be grateful for in your heart (and all that you don’t have)
2. go out and view the night sky and witness the growing moon and remember light punctuating the dark times
3. acknowledge the both/and, the bittersweet reality of relational health: both deep sorrow and deep serenityI won’t be able to respond to each individual message I receive. And, I appreciate your concern. Take good care of yourselves and spread Aloha. 

Kindly,

Amy E
Amy Elizabeth Gordon | Relationship Doula
Serving Hawai’i Island and beyond
808-936-3733
You matter. Your relationships matter.

clear your mind  
open your heart  
rekindle your spirit  
energize your life
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how to enjoy relational health during transitions

transition

If you’re anything like me, change feels like a series of speed bumps on the journey of life. If I’m going too fast through transition in my life, it is jarring, uncomfortable and downright discombobulating.

There is an alternative to racing through life. Cultivate awareness of allowing space for grace. Honoring your inner guidance system. Hibernating. Radically resting. Preparing for change (it’s inevitable).

Here are the distinctions of extraordinary living that show us how to maintain relational health in transition. Seeing them in a simple list helps keep it simple. 

1. trust yourself to no longer abandon yourself

2. focus on your own hula hoop (mind your own business)

3. repair your part in relationship breakdowns

4. have faith you are enough

5. clear your mind of stinkin’ thinkin’

6. open your heart to receive the love

7. rekindle your spirit to get resourced

8. energize your life

9. recognize your interdependence

10. own your responsibility

11. embrace generosity

12. raise your relational consciousness

Seasonal shifts, moon phases, stages of life — all these transitions deserve time and space to flow smoothly. Listen. And cultivate gratitude for those moments to simply be still and honor silence. 

​You matter. Your relationships matter.​

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how to spark transformation

writing
Aloha Dear One, 

If you’re anything like me, you want to evolve beyond your fears and elevate the space around you. Being an active participant in my healing journey to live an extraordinary life of everyday enlightenment requires daily practices. One of these is foundational to wellbeing: keeping a journal.

Noticing the story we tell ourselves, and being courageous enough to write a new ending to this chapter of life allow us to live a good life and be of maximum service to others.

We change in here to ignite out there.

We can spark transformation by cultivating a writing practice. 

Here’s a few highlights from an article called Journal Writing as a Powerful Adjunct to Therapy by Kathleen Adams. M.A., LPC to inspire us all to reimagine our relationship with writing:

10 Reasons Why (journal writing is a powerful adjunct to therapy)

One. Immediacy and Availability. A journal teaches containment, present-centeredness, and self-direction. The journal truly is “life’s companion.”

Two. Catharsis. It’s vitally important to have a place to scream, rant, rave, ventilate and express without fear of judgment or reprisal.

Three. Object Constancy. The relationship with the journal can become a living metaphor for the relationship with self, and from there, the relationship with others. 

Four. Repetition. One of the most important therapeutic tasks for people in pain is to break the silence and tell the story.

Five. Reality Check. It is true that writing it down makes it much more difficult to continue a pattern of denial.

Six. Self-Pacing. The self-pacing aspects of the journal can become a way of regulating and monitoring the life process, of learning balance and choice-making and natural consequences.

Seven. Communication. The journal becomes a forum, a testing ground for ideas, opinions, awarenesses, fears, and insights that are moving from the pre-verbal to the verbal realm.

Eight. Self-Esteem. The very act of journal writing, in which thought is put into tangible expression, is a life-affirming celebration of self: I write, therefore I am. I exist. I have a voice. It can be heard.

Nine. Clarity and Commitment. The process of reflective writing has a cumulative effect; after weeks or months of journaling, one may discover, I no longer have to be a victim.

Ten. A Witness to Healing. The journal is a wonderful witness, it provides an ongoing trail map and trip log of the journey of healing.

There is no right or wrong way to journal. Reply and tell me about your practice now.
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contemplate your true nature

doula

Where I’m from, my parent’s love for me was rooted in worry, anxiety and dread.

  • “I’m anxious to see you.” (Mom said each time I planned a trip home)
  • “Be careful.” (Mom uttered every time I left the house)
  • “You’re too sensitive.” (Dad chided me to be more tough — so I didn’t get hurt so much)

And yet was I was told, repeatedly, was that they loved me and they wanted me to be happy. Yet the energetic exchange was negatively charged. 

In my adulthood, through the journey of conscious partnership, connected parenting, and ongoing sobriety, I’ve learned a few replacements:

  • wonder replaces worry
  • delight replaces doubt
  • rejoice replaces regret

And thus I return to my true nature. The childlike wonder, delight and ability to rejoice is still in me. And you, too. Experience liberation from negativity. When we quit worrying we allow space for wonder to emerge. Worry is praying for things we don’t want. Free up that energy with a glance up at the cloud or the stars right now.

Pause. Breathe. Reset.

These extraordinary benefits of right living — experiencing daily delight, wonder and rejoicing in the sober mind and tender heart–become rather ordinary and mundane.

So instead of consuming (I just deleted more social media apps from my phone), I’m contemplating my true nature. If you’re anything like me, social media drums up old love exchanges: worry, doubt, regret. 

Clearing up clutter of distractions and releasing the pinch of judgement and tech anxiety brings relief. Clarity of mind and openness of heart are glimpses of everyday enlightenment. This, dear one, is a worthwhile journey. I’m delighted to be your guide from the side. 

My master’s degree is in Contemplative Psychology. To contemplate is to allow the divine in. Years of practice working with my own mind and tenderizing my own heart cultivates bodhicitta: enlightened mind and awakened heart (same thing).

And so it is, Aloha Friday.

Your matter. 

Your relationships matter. 

With tenderness,

Amy 

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Does this path have a heart?

do this path have heart?

The last few weeks I’ve noticed that my heart feels heavy when I awaken in the morning. Breathing helps, but gravity wins. My mind begins the race and my body is too tuckered to make it to the track.

The masters say, “You are not your thoughts,” This makes sense. Yet my thoughts do create my reality so they are important to pay attention to. My heart is speaking to me. Reminding me to surrender to gravity. Inviting me to ground in gratitude. Encouraging me to feel the grief that surrounds me.

Inviting my daily and grounding mantra, I am a tender, powerful, generous woman, I feel a wee bit of the heaviness lifting. I ask my husband to place his hand on my heart, I feel a bit more release. I call on my spirit guides and angels and ancestors to lend me the energy to get moving, once again.

Remember, Dear Reader, asking for help is a strength, not a weakness. 

I’m on a path of heart. Listening, deeply, I ask for and willingly receive, support. We may never know Why? this happened. As I often remind my clients, let’s shift from asking “Why” as in, “Why did this happen”, which inevitably leads to another “why”, and shift to Wise. For a moment, let’s shift from the Whys and consider the Wise.

Wise mind guides us on the path of heart. 

Be living a path of heart. There is strength here.

Perhaps you have struggles that you would like to release. Maybe your path of heart is too wide, too circuitous and does not get you where you want to be. Or perhaps you feel constricted by the pinch of the overwhelm of life. Either way, you deserve support, inspiration, and accountability.

This quick tip for more power in your partnership is to follow the path of the heart. Ask yourself: Does this path have heart? Watch PIP Clip

Recognize the strength in asking for help. Remember the wisdom of the heart. Realize you are not alone.

Tune inward, unveil the mysteries within yourself, and ask yourself, what keeps me keeping on, why did I get out of bed today?

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Upcoming Relational Coaching

Elements of Everyday Enlightenment, a 12-week virtual gathering

Our time together gathering in Amy’s Zoom Room will be uplifting, engaging, and energizing.

Details at a Glance:

Who: me and you and up to a dozen others.

What: learning, sharing, breathing, writing, embodying practices to support relational health.

Where: Zoom Room (link provided after enrollment)

When: 12 weeks. Sept. 26 – Dec. 14, 2022. 

Time: Wednesdays, 18:30 UTC (9:30am Hawaii)

Length: 1 hour 15 minutes. 

Cost: love offering (suggested $1200)

Why: Connection is vital to our wellbeing. 

Mark your calendars:

  1. September 28, 2022
  2. October 5, 2022
  3. October 12, 2022
  4. October 19, 2022
  5. October 26, 2022
  6. November 2, 2022
  7. November 9, 2022
  8. November 16, 2022
  9. November 23, 2022
  10. November 30, 2022
  11. December 7, 2022
  12. December 14, 2022

Time of Day:

Wednesdays at 9:30 – 10:45am Hawaii Time. click here for time zone converter

Cost:

pay what you can love offering: suggested cost is $1200

this includes 3 private calls w/ Amy (if you desire)

Action:

Sign up by sending me an email to [email protected] with subject line: Gathering.

First 14 responses fill this group’s capacity. Feel free to invite your beloved or friend. They will need their own registration and their own Zoom square.

More juicy details

Gathering 1. Practice: Arriving Here. Distinction: trust. Element: sunrise

Gathering 2. Practice: Nurturing Sovereignty. Distinction: focus. Element: ocean

Gathering 3. Practice: Learning to Listen & Finding Forgiveness. Distinction: repair. Element: clouds

Gathering 4. Practice: Metabolizing Grief. Distinction: faith. Element: earth

Gathering 5. Practice: Eliminating Excess. Distinction: clarity. Element: air

Gathering 6. Practice: Releasing Resentments Distinction: openness. Element: fire

Gathering 7. Practice: Titrating Anxiety. Distinction: Reactivation. Element: water

Gathering 8. Practice: Pacing Oneself & Surviving Stillness. Distinction: energy. Element: moon

Gathering 9. Practice: Cultivating Serenity & Silence. Distinction: interdependence. Element: stars

Gathering 10. Practice: Embodying Enough. Distinction: Responsibility. Element: sunset

Gathering 11. Practice: Generating Gratitude. Distinction: generosity. Element: trees

Gathering 12. Practice: Celebrating Completion. Distinction: consciousness. Element: planet

These gatherings are live. Please commit to at least 10 of the 12 sessions. No recordings.

Who is Amy?

Facilitated by Amy Elizabeth Gordon, M.A., Licensed Imago Therapist & Relational Health Coach

Amy Elizabeth Gordon, founder of gig called life coaching, llc, is a published author, relationship doula and compassion activist. Through power in partnership, she thrives and lives an extraordinary life. 

Cutting through the chaotic and distracted energies of dominant culture, opening minds riddled with lack, and rekindling souls hungry for connection, Amy is a dedicated sober woman of integrity who sees her roles as wife, mother, daughter, coach, yogini, paddler, hula dancer, and fellow human being as an ever-expanding opportunity to heal the planet.

A lifelong student, Amy has spent several decades advocating for big compassion, healthy relationships, and holistic wellbeing. Her professional training includes a Master of Arts in Contemplative Psychology from Naropa University, Nationally Certified Addictions Counselor, Certified Imago International Relationship Therapist, and Certified Parent Coach.

Additionally, Amy is a founding member of Hālau ʻŌhiʻa, a Stewardship Training program bridging indigenous lifeways and modern technology in a fruitful foundation for the future. 

As a relationship doula and relational health coach, she weaves the arc of connection of addiction recovery, relational healing and contemplative practice to cultivate maximum health with Self, Other and Spirit. She invites us to reimagine our relationships and dwell in our tender and powerful hearts in a way that is indeed miraculous.

Contact info: 808-936-3733

Your matter. 

Your relationships matter.