Posted on

Relationships Matter Most

Aloha Dear One,   

It’ been a minute since I last wrote. Over a month in fact. Did you notice? I’ve been traveling a bit again, all the while practicing radical rest and quality time to connect. Simultaneously.  Both active engagement and energetic exchanges of excellence as well as juicy solitude, rejuvenation and time to assimilate all that is going on around me. Life gets lifey (as my beloved Mary would say). And life right now is particularly LIFEY.  

Having time, energy, and ability to rest and connect are the fruits of my labor of cultivating the most extraordinary relationships possible with Self/Other/Spirit. I’m grateful. More blessings than I can say grace over. Rich beyond measure.  

And I’m headed to the mainland again, this time all the way to Maine to take Everett for his freshman year at Bowdoin College. I will be back to my fall schedule on Sept. 7. If you are desirous of a relational health tune-up, you make sense to me. It’s time to re-evaluate what matters most: relationships. We get to figure out how to interact (more lovingly) with others (and ourselves) in this changing world.   

Click here to schedule with me. 

I have a couple of openings for new clients and if you respond before September 7, I will offer you a special 3-hour deep dive initial session as part of our agreement ($1k value)! 

In the meantime, I wanted to share with you a powerful interview that a beloved client just shared with me. It’s called “Reclaiming Aloha” and it speaks to me on so many levels and I hope it serves you as well. Please let me know what you get from it. 

There is no more valuable work than developing relationships — and — no more difficult work than maintaining them. 

Think of a relational health tune-up like going to the dentist. You know you need your teeth strong and healthy. You know you need your relationships with yourself and others strong and healthy. Let me know what support looks like. 

Your matter. Your relationships matter.  Warmly,Amy  
Posted on

Aloha Friday: Sovereignty of Self

power

Aloha Dear One, 

Lest we fall further into the Realm of Despair, let’s come back to our senses with this powerful exercise. Let’s take a moment to connect with something bigger than us. Sure, worry, fear, and outrage are bigger than us. But what else is? For inspiration, click the whale image below to visit another realm entirely.  

When things feel a bit swirly and outta control, come back to your senses. Turn off the news or the worries in your mind and instead, listen to a special moment in your life (perhaps from all those videos waiting in your phone for your attention). That’s what I did today and so I share this precious whale memory from earlier this year. 

My body, my choice.

In the winter, I jumped in the mighty Pacific and allowed the songs of Humpbacks and the ocean to hold me. I reunite with this power greater than myself in this moment of euphoric recall. From this place, I’m rejuvenated to face the reality of current events, events of a personal, national, and/or global nature. 

On this Aloha Friday, let’s pause, breathe, and reset and take a moment to reflect on what went well (in our personal lives) this week. 

Let’s create BREATHING ROOM in our lives for personal joy to multiply and personal sorrow to divide. 

  • JOY: My decisions around what goes into my body are mostly healthy and I have the great good fortune of being sober, sane, and serene. 
  • SORROW: My body keeps the score of old traumas and transgressions and my hips ache and my skin itches as I continue to process and release the old stuff – the old haunts (mine and my ancestors). 

Here’s a nudge: Help spread the light of high-vibe living, rather than contract in fear or rage and fuel the spew of negativity. This is not pollyanna thinking or spiritual-bypassing. This is about staying sober, sane and serene no matter what and coming back to your senses and trusting your Sovereignty is your true power.

This self-sovereignty is the power we share with each other in a regenerative world. We don’t need guns to feel safe or governments to protect us, we need to WAKE UP and take back our power. Does the media have the power to determine if we are heartbroken? I think not. 

Ground in the gratitude of your own Sovereignty. From this place of empowerment, you can more readily promote healthier choices, loving relations, and help multiply joys.

  • Own your privilege
  • Own your heartache
  • Own your choices
  • Own your sovereignty.  

Your matter. 

Your relationships matter. 

Warmly,

Amy 

power
https://vimeo.com/723913596

click the link above to listen to male humpback whale song from 2/22

Posted on

Simplify to Amplify

gratitude

Aloha Dear One, 

Do you have a lot of ideas of how the world could be a better place?

Do you often wish others would behave differently?

Do you find this is a recipe for woe and a foundation for chronic disappointment?

One way to stop doing this, without lowering your standards, is to simplify to amplify. A coach taught me this years ago. And now I’m finally embracing it at a deeper level. 

My simplified message is this: We get to dwell in a playful heart.

From this place, it’s natural to 

  • Cherish connection.
  • Cultivate gratitude.
  • Count blessings.

When we reside here, relationships flourish, heal, and resource us. They also uplift the environment. We get to remember that relationships are the playground of the heart or the battleground of the ego.

We get to tend to what matters most and weed out the things we don’t want to grow, turn them into compost, and cultivate whole-hearted living.  

The heart is the home of heaven or hell here on earth. Joy or misery lands here. Peaceful expansion or painful contraction create our realities.

What if we choose

  • heaven
  • joy
  • peace
  • expansion
  • liberation

And from this, we amplify LOVING RELATIONS. 

What are you simplifying today? 

What are you amplifying today?

 Let me know.

Warmly,

Amy

Posted on

Healthy Family Communication Tips

healthy family

Did you know that when we communicate there are actually up to 4 conversations going on — simultaneously?

1. The one you think in your head.

2. The one you actually say.

3. The one the other person(s) hear(s).

4. The one you wish you had said.

One thing I’m particularly grateful for is getting through my mom’s recent death and entering the holiday season strong with healthy communication with family of origin and my in-laws.

Sure, it’s work, but it’s so flippin’ rewarding. It’s freeing to feel the lack of energy drain. To feel resourced. To put my head to the pillow at night without rehashing what he said, what I should have said, and second guessing myself and/or judging others.

It’s truly liberating. 

If you’d like some helpful tips (and lots of wonderful hyperlinks for resources), please check out this article by my fellow Imago colleague, Jeannie Ingram. 

Healthy Family Communication Tips

Posted on

Where can you be more free?

liberation

Aloha Dear Ones,

This past month has been an incredible opportunity for me to practice radical self-care even when I’m far from my paradise of Hawaii and the comfort of family and friends. 

You see, there’s nothing quite like waiting for the last exhale of your mother.

Talk about anxiety-provoking. After bringing my mom home from the hospital with hospice care, there were times when I couldn’t sit still for more than 20 minutes. 

I titrated my anxiety the best I could. I didn’t drink the bottles of wine. I didn’t binge on Netflix. I didn’t engage in the drama of old family stuff swirling around my ankles. Instead, I did laundry and ate a few bites of non-dairy ice cream and called it good. I honored my non-negotiable and took walks daily. And believe it or not, I slept. I wailed. I prayed. I created peace within my own tender heart as the only thing I felt I could do for my mom. 

My point in sharing all this is that I didn’t abandon myself.

I trusted myself to take radically good care of myself while I waited for my mom to die. I leaned in to feel the feels and I backed off when it felt too much. 

  • I cut myself some slack. 
  • I released expectations. 
  • I relinquished the idea that I would do it “right.”

This resulted in greater liberation.

When I taste liberation it’s often due to my daily commitment to trust myself to no longer abandon ANY aspect of myself. Including the anxiety. Including the grief.

And so my awareness of myself translates to greater curiosity of you: how is your heart? How are doing in this gig called life? 

  • When have you abandoned aspects of your whole Self?
  • How do you get to show up to your life in a more generous and responsible manner? 
  • Where can you be more free?

Where can you be more free?

Let’s connect and explore these questions, and more, in a few days. 

(free) Distinctions of Extraordinary Living Masterclass Zoom Meeting

ZOOM INFORMATION

Time: Friday, November 19th, 2021

9 AM Hawaii/ 11 AM Seattle/ noon Denver/ 2 PM New York/ 8 PM Paris

click here for your time zone 

Join Zoom Meeting

Zoom ID 808-936-3733

Passcode: Aloha

Warmly,

Amy | Relationship Doula 

to book a session with me   

Don’t forget: You matter. Your relationships matter.

Posted on

How to Create Emotional Safety in Your Relationship

relationships

Guest blog by Imago Therapist Dana Cole:

Do you have “emotional safety zones” in your life?  

Emotional safety zones are relationships where you can express difficult emotions without fear of rejection. You may have experienced this with close family members, tight-knit friends, or even communities like churches, sangha, or group therapy. 

But perhaps the most important person you can share a safety zone with is your spouse or romantic partner. After all, they are the one person you must come home to at the end of the day — both physically and emotionally. Unfortunately, it is all too easy to interact in ways that make you and your partner feel anything but safe with each other.

https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/how-to-create-emotional-safety-in-relationships