Posted on

trust yourself first

trust

Trust yourself to no longer abandon yourself. This is foundational. This really is an invitation to an extraordinary life.

So what exactly gets in the way of this extraordinary life? Pests. Erosion. Termites erode the foundation. Termites like mistrust, fear, and reactivity eat away at trust and erode the integrity of the foundation of our relationships.

For example, mistrust happens when social contracts are broken and neglected. You must heal your agreements with others, and start by trusting yourself first.

Lack of safety habitually haunts those of us familiar with traumatic events, thereby leading to exaggerated startle responses and over-reactive nervous systems create an uptight experience of the chapters of life.

3 things we can do

  1. We can learn to calm ourselves down in stressful situations.

2. We can, indeed, break the spells that bind us.

3. And we can rewrite the ending to this chapter of our lives.

pause. breathe. reset.

As I’m sitting here, I’m experiencing gratitude for my practice of Pause. Breathe. Reset. I’m so relieved to relax more fully into my tender heart. Even though it can seem scary as hell to not defend against the pain and suffering of the world.

And I’m so excited to share with you what I’ve learned on this extraordinary journey of resilience, compassion and service. I’m poised to share insights from my own addiction recovery, relational healing and contemplative practice.

Here are some touchstones of what we can do to trust more fully:

touchstones to trust

Be the prayer

Allow and commit to deep listening

Find your identity inside yourself

Be very honest, open, and straight with yourself

Learn compassionate self-control

Learn to contain your own energy

Cultivate inner contentment

If there is a choice, choose the positive

Identify your destiny and serve

Cultivate character, commitment, and grace

Balance yourself, so you don’t need to be compensated from the outside

Give up manipulation and control

When you want something , get clear, ask, be calm, and let it come

Develop a meditative mind to wait and see what comes to you

Receive what comes

Let go of what goes

Don’t chase after anything

Cultivate a tender heart of forgiveness

Develop a relationship with a working God that dwells and breathes within you

(thanks to Yogi Bhajan for inspiring these ideas)

here’s what’s next

Get support with a Daily Tracker to trust yourself to develop C.O.R.E. Compassion & Sign up for the email list if you haven’t already here

trust

Tune in to the monthly variety show: what matters most in relational health on the 2nd Saturday of the month at noon Pacific Time. Check out the emails for the most current Zoom link.

Join me in my Relational Health Masterclass Series starting next week. watch email for details and further inspiration.

let me know what landed for you…and why…email me at [email protected]

Posted on

Daily Tender Job Description

services relationship coaching

Appendix II from my transformational memoir

Moonshot: aim high, dive deep, live an extraordinary life

Daily Tender Job Description by Amy Elizabeth Gordon MA

Daily Tender is a simple position of ultimate and radical self-care. It’s a call to action in these unimaginable times. Here’s a quick list of the duties, responsibilities and privileges of this enlightened role.

  • Smile upon awakening.
  • Give thanks for this moment.
  • Stretch and massage. Make love, alone or with beloved.
  • Make the bed.
  • Relieve self of what is no longer needed by tapping into Source.
  • Brush teeth.
  • Dry skin brush and cold shower — most mornings.
  • Practice Yoga, daily.
  • Breathe, consciously, while the hot water in the tea kettle boils.
  • Meditate.
  • Consume yummy food and lots of love and hugs.
  • Tidy the kitchen.
  • Chore day Sunday.
  • Assemble hydration station every morning for tea, coffee, water.
  • Water garden (literally and figuratively).
  • Express thanks. Often.
  • Chant. Buddhist prayers, yoga prayers, Hawaiʻi prayers.
  • Sweep the floor, removing the dust of yesterday.
  • Exercise outdoors.
  • Exhibit discipline around tech. Adopt fairly strict media diet.
  • Write, create, make a mess.
  • Switch from the mentality of performance driven living of Do, Be, Have, to a new emphasis on ways of being with: Be, Do, Have.
  • Keep appointments with people. Be timely.
  • Coach and be coached.
  • Invest in wellbeing.
  • Cherish time with family.
  • Stop when triggered, drop what I’m doing, and breathe.
  • Deeply breathe.
  • Clean up my side of the street and set right wrongs I’ve made.
  • Allow space for grace to enter in a way that is indeed miraculous.
  • Express thanks. Yes, again.
  • Read inspiring words.
  • Play. Dance. Laugh: pepper these throughout the day.
  • Connect with friends on Wednesday, We-day, if not more often.
  • Surrender to what is.
Posted on

Chapter One: Trust

moonshot

We all come from hard times. We all have a story to tell. Mine is about alcoholism, abuse, and awareness.

Mine leads me to discovering more fully the depths of resilience, compassion and service that are vital to living a life worth living. 

In these days of growing darkness and despair, I wish to fan the flame of light and love within you.

We can overcome addiction, racism, overwhelm. And we cannot do it alone in the broken structures of our dominant culture.

The first part of wellness is “we” and the first part of illness is “I”

That said, let us share our stories and cultivate wellness and inner peace in these trying times.  We can listen and imagine and create a more beautiful world our hearts know is possible. 

Many of you have read my transformational memoir,

Moonshot: aim high, dive deep, live an extraordinary life. 

Do you want to hear me read Chapter One?

 

For those of you who haven’t, and want to get a teaser, listen to me read Chapter One: Trust.  Please click above for a heartfelt half-hour of the real, raw, vulnerable me. 

Those who want an audio version to take on your next walk outdoors, click here. (alas, I cannot get this link to work. If anyone wants to help me get audios set up in podcast form, I welcome the help.)

Those who want off my list, please just click unsubscribe below. 

The time is now to overcome our addiction to dominant culture and start to trust ourselves to no longer abandon ourselves. 

It’s time to quit playing small. Here’s to being stretchy and vulnerable, together, as a way of empowering ourselves and our societies. 

Warmly,

~ Amy Elizabeth 

Posted on

Aloha Friday: an extraordinary life of service

This week we are exploring the 3 Realms we dwell in which I wrote about in my transformational memoir, Moonshot: aim high, dive deep, live an extraordinary life. If you would like to purchase my memoir from an independent seller, my friend Mary has some on the mainland she can mail more easily than I can so please send me your interest and we’ll make arrangements. I also just found a great new link buying books at bookshop.org

whew, I digress, back to the topic: 

These 3 Realms are Resilience, Compassion, and Service.

In essence, we feel the tender heart of sadness in order to heal it. We remember we are connected to others in order to live an extraordinary life of everyday enlightenment and uplift the world. 

As I learned in my professional training in Imago Therapy, we are wounded in relationship, and it is in relationship that we are healed. 

We dwell in the Realm of Service

  • we live and breathe interdependence
  • we practice response-ability
  • we practice generosity: we give to live
  • we choose wisely to uplift our consciousness

Service ordinary definition: the act of helping or doing work for someone

Service extraordinary definition: the way of living that uplifts the world 

Ready to join me in the new extraordinary story of tenderness and uplifting the world vs. the old story of toughen up and suffer? Great, letʻs talk, hit reply now, leave your number and time zone, and we’ll hop on the phone. 

With much Aloha,

Amy Elizabeth Gordon MA 

Relational Health Coach & Compassion Activist  

  • clear your mind
  • open your heart  
  • rekindle your spirit  
  • energize your life 

p.s. Here’s a panel interview I had earlier this year with 3 powerful beings (including my beloved, Marc) to discuss service. 

check it out >>https://vimeo.com/383149750 

Posted on

Resilience is about tenderness, not toughness.

Whenever we toughen up to get through difficult experiences, it is as if we prolong the inevitable need to feel it to heal it.   How do we find the courage and the heart space to feel all the feels when it seems like another relentless headache, bellyache, broken-hearted moment after another?   

  • we trust ourselves to no longer abandon ourselves
  • we focus on our own hula hoop and let go of comparing our suffering to others (the only person we can legitimately compare ourselves to is ourself left over from yesterday)
  • we repair our part of whatever nightmare is happening
  • we allow faith to hold us in a web of grace and surrender

We dwell in the Realm of Resilience

  re·sil·ience /rəˈzilyəns/  

Resilience ordinary definition:

the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness.

Resilience extraordinary definition: 

the capacity to transform hurt into opportunity; tenderness. 

Ready to join me in the new extraordinary story of tenderness vs. the old story of toughen up? Great, letʻs talk, hit reply now, leave your number and time zone, and we’ll hop on the phone. 

With much Aloha,

Amy Elizabeth Gordon MA 

Relational Health Coach & Compassion Activist  

  • clear your mind
  • open your heart  
  • rekindle your spirit  
  • energize your life 

p.s. Hereʻs a panel interview I had with 3 powerful women to discuss resilience and the power of declaring your Moonshot.  

check it out >>https://vimeo.com/371968695

Posted on

Compassion for self, skillful means with others

On Monday I wrote about the importance of resilience and relating to the challenges of life with tenderness vs. toughness. Today I’d like to dive a little deeper into how you do this. You can actually keep it quite simple.

  1. When you wake up, smile upon awakening, before feet hit the floor.
  2. Make the bed, closing that chapter of your day.
  3. Adopt an attitude of gratitude. 

Tender connections start with compassion for yourself.

Compassion for self, skillful means with others.

What is compassion? com·pas·sion /kəmˈpaSHən/  

  • Compassion ordinary definition: sympathetic pity or concern for the suffering or misfortunes of others 
  • Compassion extraordinary definition: connecting with the tender heart of sadness buried in the layers of life 

Dwell in the Realm of C.O.R.E. Compassion. 
 

Set your intentions to:

  • clear your mind
  • open your heart  
  • rekindle your spirit  
  • energize your life 

With much Aloha,

Amy Elizabeth Gordon MA 

Relational Health Coach & Compassion Activist  

p.s. Hereʻs a panel interview I had (Dec. 2019) with 3 powerful beings to discuss compassion. Joining energy from California, Hawaii, and Vienna, we declare our Moonshots and invite some Magic. The message holds relevancy today in pandemic times. 

This is the SOS  of our times. Tune in now. 

We do the deep dive into the Realm of Compassion. Explore the concepts of Clarity, Openness, Reactivation, Energy with these powerfully kind souls. 45 minutes of thoughtful consideration to your media diet, we discuss the collective unconscious, and the necessity for compassion of Self, Other, Society.

Please take good care. you matter, your relationships matter.  

And let me know what support looks like.