trust yourself first

Trust yourself to no longer abandon yourself. This is foundational. This really is an invitation to an extraordinary life.

So what exactly gets in the way of this extraordinary life? Pests. Erosion. Termites erode the foundation. Termites like mistrust, fear, and reactivity eat away at trust and erode the integrity of the foundation of our relationships.

For example, mistrust happens when social contracts are broken and neglected. You must heal your agreements with others, and start by trusting yourself first.

Lack of safety habitually haunts those of us familiar with traumatic events, thereby leading to exaggerated startle responses and over-reactive nervous systems create an uptight experience of the chapters of life.

3 things we can do

  1. We can learn to calm ourselves down in stressful situations.

2. We can, indeed, break the spells that bind us.

3. And we can rewrite the ending to this chapter of our lives.

pause. breathe. reset.

As I’m sitting here, I’m experiencing gratitude for my practice of Pause. Breathe. Reset. I’m so relieved to relax more fully into my tender heart. Even though it can seem scary as hell to not defend against the pain and suffering of the world.

And I’m so excited to share with you what I’ve learned on this extraordinary journey of resilience, compassion and service. I’m poised to share insights from my own addiction recovery, relational healing and contemplative practice.

Here are some touchstones of what we can do to trust more fully:

touchstones to trust

Be the prayer

Allow and commit to deep listening

Find your identity inside yourself

Be very honest, open, and straight with yourself

Learn compassionate self-control

Learn to contain your own energy

Cultivate inner contentment

If there is a choice, choose the positive

Identify your destiny and serve

Cultivate character, commitment, and grace

Balance yourself, so you don’t need to be compensated from the outside

Give up manipulation and control

When you want something , get clear, ask, be calm, and let it come

Develop a meditative mind to wait and see what comes to you

Receive what comes

Let go of what goes

Don’t chase after anything

Cultivate a tender heart of forgiveness

Develop a relationship with a working God that dwells and breathes within you

(thanks to Yogi Bhajan for inspiring these ideas)

here’s what’s next

Get support with a Daily Tracker to trust yourself to develop C.O.R.E. Compassion & Sign up for the email list if you haven’t already here


Tune in to the monthly variety show: what matters most in relational health on the 2nd Saturday of the month at noon Pacific Time. Check out the emails for the most current Zoom link.

Join me in my Relational Health Masterclass Series starting next week. watch email for details and further inspiration.

let me know what landed for you…and why…email me at [email protected]

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