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trust yourself first

trust

Trust yourself to no longer abandon yourself. This is foundational. This really is an invitation to an extraordinary life.

So what exactly gets in the way of this extraordinary life? Pests. Erosion. Termites erode the foundation. Termites like mistrust, fear, and reactivity eat away at trust and erode the integrity of the foundation of our relationships.

For example, mistrust happens when social contracts are broken and neglected. You must heal your agreements with others, and start by trusting yourself first.

Lack of safety habitually haunts those of us familiar with traumatic events, thereby leading to exaggerated startle responses and over-reactive nervous systems create an uptight experience of the chapters of life.

3 things we can do

  1. We can learn to calm ourselves down in stressful situations.

2. We can, indeed, break the spells that bind us.

3. And we can rewrite the ending to this chapter of our lives.

pause. breathe. reset.

As I’m sitting here, I’m experiencing gratitude for my practice of Pause. Breathe. Reset. I’m so relieved to relax more fully into my tender heart. Even though it can seem scary as hell to not defend against the pain and suffering of the world.

And I’m so excited to share with you what I’ve learned on this extraordinary journey of resilience, compassion and service. I’m poised to share insights from my own addiction recovery, relational healing and contemplative practice.

Here are some touchstones of what we can do to trust more fully:

touchstones to trust

Be the prayer

Allow and commit to deep listening

Find your identity inside yourself

Be very honest, open, and straight with yourself

Learn compassionate self-control

Learn to contain your own energy

Cultivate inner contentment

If there is a choice, choose the positive

Identify your destiny and serve

Cultivate character, commitment, and grace

Balance yourself, so you don’t need to be compensated from the outside

Give up manipulation and control

When you want something , get clear, ask, be calm, and let it come

Develop a meditative mind to wait and see what comes to you

Receive what comes

Let go of what goes

Don’t chase after anything

Cultivate a tender heart of forgiveness

Develop a relationship with a working God that dwells and breathes within you

(thanks to Yogi Bhajan for inspiring these ideas)

here’s what’s next

Get support with a Daily Tracker to trust yourself to develop C.O.R.E. Compassion & Sign up for the email list if you haven’t already here

trust

Tune in to the monthly variety show: what matters most in relational health on the 2nd Saturday of the month at noon Pacific Time. Check out the emails for the most current Zoom link.

Join me in my Relational Health Masterclass Series starting next week. watch email for details and further inspiration.

let me know what landed for you…and why…email me at [email protected]

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cross divides, break silence

Incompatibility, bridging differences

We gotta talk. We get to talk about race. We need to have the painful conversations and heed the call to action for the truth to rise to the top. 

Dwelling in the spirit of solidarity, empathy and understanding, we are coming together, sharing our stories, and exploring what matter most: relational health.

In my transformational memoir, Moonshot: aim high, dive deep, live an extraordinary life, I get real with my experience of growing up American. Here I’m taking a brave leap to share a few painful blinks from my personal history. Once again, this is real, raw, vulnerable. Caveat.

I grew up in America, in the South, wallowing in the soup of an us/them mentality. I didn’t understand this mentality of inequality. And I never felt a sense of belonging.

At the age of 15, I was raped by a skinhead; a white supremacist. This event marked the loss of my virginity, my innocence. Based on the religion of my upbringing, I feared I was going to hell. 

At the age of 16, while seriously drunk, I walked alone in a neighborhood, and I was assaulted by 5 black men; my head cracked open with a lead pipe or tire iron, I know not what. I fumbled, bled, escaped. Fortunately, I went to the hospital for treatment, stitches and concussion protocol. 

At the age of 18, I lived in the student ghetto in Gainesville and was robbed by a black man who sold my bike for crack. I yelled to him, “Excuse me sir, that’s my bike,” I protested, futilely, all-the-while addressing the inherent worth and dignity in every human being, in this man (hence the term, “sir.”)

Here’s the most painful part: In each instance of trauma, abuse and violation, I blamed myself. Ouch. I never pressed charges. I never trusted the system. I never trusted myself. 

Even when I knew the perpetrator/the rapist/the skinhead. I knew his name, where he lived; I still kept quiet. I didn’t seek support. Even with a line-up of other criminals, I couldn’t trust the system to provide justice. I didn’t seek support. Even with

The American Dominant Culture impacts lives. I suffered trauma and I thought it was karma. For years I warped spiritual principles into a savvy and sophisticated intellectualized approach toward overcoming these transgressions. That’s a fancy way of saying, I blamed myself. No more.

  • Have you ever felt you need to keep the silence and suffer? 
  • Have you ever felt outrage at the lack of equality and empathy in our dominant culture?
  • Have you ever felt that the true essence of power (self-sovereignty) is needed now more that ever?

What can you do? Trust yourself to no longer abandon yourself. Be the silence breaker. Lean into the difficult conversations and be the change you wish to see in the world. 

CALL TO ACTION: Seek support. Know belonging. Cultivate resilience.

My journey of recovery and transformation began 30 years ago, and continues to this day. I realized I no longer needed to keep the silence and suffer. I needed, and continue to need, spiritual help.

I ask you to gather with me on the second Saturday of the month, to breathe, to engage in the ritual of building an altar of awareness, to celebrate personal Moonshots and release what is no longer needed. 

This month, January 9th of the new year of 2021, the theme is TRUST.

Variety Show with Amy E ZOOM ROOM starts on at noon Pacific Time.

  • We will engage in a short ritual of connection and conscious breath-work
  • We will invite a few moments to celebrate being alive and become fully embodied with laughter yoga
  • We will explore the power of Moonshot Magic, through declaring our intentions and acknowledging a power greater than ourselves, and continue releasing the pinch of Dominant Culture 
  • We will entertain special guests to explore what matters most in relational health with greater ease, joy and earnestness.

Together, we rise.  

You Matter. Your Relationships Matter. 

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Aloha Everyday: How to agree to disagree

silence

Agree to disagree and you choose happiness over righteousness.

Every moment I expect my husband to think or feel or act in a way other than how he is presently thinking, feeling or acting, I’m basically generating my own suffering.

Whenever I want my mother-in-law to quit talking to me about her ideas for a death with dignity departure from this earthly plane, I’m basically shutting my heart down.

Each time I beat up on myself for not handling my life with the greatest ease, flow, and grace, I’m basically creating conditions for greater dis-ease, constriction, and disgust.

Relational health requires intentional communication.

I trust my husband is doing the best he can in this moment. He is operating from his own value system. We all are. I can agree to disagree with what he is doing and I can choose how to respond.

Therein lies tremendous freedom and peace.

I can be quiet. Silence is golden at times.

I can say, “You might be right.” Happiness trumps righteousness.

I can advocate for his greater well-being by validating his experience. (This is higher level relational mastery. Set up a call with me to discuss.)

Essentials needed for getting along with others: acceptance, tenderness, forgiveness

How far should you compromise? Trust yourself to no longer abandon your values. How much connection and solitude do you really need? Trust your gut. Get quiet for a moment. Breathe. Each day may be different. Trust that when you no longer disappoint yourself, you are honoring the most important relationship you will ever have.

Should you never argue? If you are human, and you live on this planet, and you have a beating heart, you will find moments of contraction, difficulty, and the possibility of an argument. That’s okay. It’s how you respond that matters most. Release the heat. Fan the flame of acceptance. Return to calm. Allow your heart to be tender. Practice forgiveness.

And when’s the best time to have heart to heart intentional dialogue? As soon as possible. Face to face, heart to heart, tender eye gaze to tender eye gaze if possible. Should you desire to learn how to have this intentional dialogue, click here to set up a free call with me to see if coaching is a viable option for you.

We can learn to agree that we each have different values. How do we hang on to those values? We must trust ourselves to no longer abandon ourselves. We must trust. Period.

Join us monthly in a free virtual gathering to focus on What Matters Most.

Here’s the Zoom Link for the Second Saturday Show of What Matters Most https://us02web.zoom.us/j/8089363733?pwd=VDlQR01SQ1YxbEYrQVhBMGowR2Q2UT09
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What Matters Most

Ready for a commitment to living an extraordinary life and align with What Matters Most? 

Let’s invite grace, ease, flow & fun along with inspired committed action. 

You get to choose what relationship you wish to focus on, for example

  • Relationships with Self: food, social media, alcohol, sleep
  • Relationships with Others: Lover, best friend, boss, child 
  • Relationships with Source: Spirit/Surrounding/Society 

What makes your heart contract? Go there and be a part of the solution. 

The promise: get out of chronic busyness and overwhelm and get into committed action, find inspiration and accountability and surrender into grace and ease. 

Consider these states of heart and ways of being:

  1. tender vs. tight
  2. juicy vs. dry
  3. pliable vs. stuck
  4. flexible vs. stubborn
  5. coherent vs. swinging extremes
  6. loving vs. fearing
  7. accepting vs. judging
  8. trusting vs. doubting
  9. open vs. closed
  10. joyful vs. fretful
  11. humming vs. hurting
  12. attuned vs. disconnected
  13. vibrant vs. dull
  14. alive vs. dead
  15. engaged vs. dis-engaged
  16. energized vs. lethargic
  17. generous vs. stingy
  18. interconnected vs. isolated
  19. being vs. striving
  20. knowing vs. numbing
  21. grateful vs. ungrateful
  22. receptive vs. closed

Which do you prefer? Ready to go all in for juicy, joyful, energized relationships that are real, raw and vulnerable? Willing to dig into the depths and rise about the drama. Together we rise in cultivating a grateful heart, dropping the stones of resentment, and living an extraordinary life of heart wisdom and regenerative societies.

The investment is $997 pay in full or $396/month for 3 months for the entire 12-week program called What Matters Most. fill out this survey here to assess your readiness.

What else is possible? For those of you desirous of individual coaching,

two options: SOS Discovery & Breakthrough Deep Dive: $997

or $2997 pay in full (or $997/month) 3-month minimum agreement.

Please feel free to contact me to set up a consult to see if it’s a good fit. https://calendly.com/amyelizabethgordon/laser-love-coaching-call

You Matter. Your Relationships Matter.

Caveat: relational health coaching is not a substitute for mental health therapy. I do not diagnosis, prescribe, or bill insurance. If you are having trouble with basic survival, this is not for you. This is self-actualizing work for people who have basic needs met, safety intact, and desire thriving, not merely surviving.

Each month of What Matters Most features:

  • Panel discussion of each realm: resiliency, compassion, service
  • Course content covering the 12 distinctions of an extraordinary life
  • Full moon celebrations and New Moon declarations
  • Meditation & breath-work practice
  • Accountability support group
  • Hot-seating coaching opportunities

Just imagine a life of energy, integration, integrity and a golden opportunity to be of maximum service to an uplifted, transformed world.

We will explore the relevancy of each of the 12 distinctions of an extraordinary life from Moonshot:

  1. trust
  2. focus
  3. repair
  4. faith
  5. clarity
  6. openness
  7. reactivation
  8. energy
  9. interdependence
  10. responsibility
  11. generosity
  12. consciousness
know your why
ready to unfurl

Powerful Incentive Bonus:

sign-up before December 20, 2020 and receive these three additional bonuses:

  1. Intensive: an SOS Discovery and Breakthrough Deep Dive coaching session with Amy E (value $997)
  2. Couplehood Mindset: a new way to love. A virtual course with Amy Elizabeth & Marc covering the Modules of this powerful relationship mindset. (value $198)
  3. Access: over twenty hours of incredible interviews with powerful relationship experts in two online shows: Power in Partnership and A League of Extraordinary Couples. (value $333)

click to here to fill out a quick survey to see if this is for you

Still wondering if this is for you?

Top Ten list of reasons why you don’t want to miss this opportunity.

  1.  You’re no longer willing to numb out. Period. You want to be awake. You have that desire and you are now, at this moment, ready to wake-up and basically get over yourself.
  2.  You’re willing to abandon the “us and them” mentality. You operate from a higher consciousness and, as a social pioneer, you desire even higher levels of awareness.
  3.  You’ve had episodes of rage or have carried internalized shame of being a person of privilege. You are now willing to drop the stones of resentment from your heart. You see anger as a teacher and are ready to listen and step into your power. You won’t give up and you won’t back down. You truly understand that hate begets hate.
  4.  You’ve severed contact with your inner guidance system, felt blamed and shamed, and then criticized others and compromised your morals. You are primed for realignment with your inner guides.
  5.  You’re willing to be right-sized while simultaneously blowing the lid off mediocrity.
  6.  You’re willing to own your super-sensitive superpowers. You feel things deeply in your bones and your intuition responds fully to life. You are ready to hone this as a strength versus your Achilles’ heel.
  7.  You’re willing to see there’s nothing to fix out there. There is no out there, out there. Change in here to ignite out there.
  8.  You recognize that we are in the midst of a cultural revolution and the power of the human heart can guide us. You love nature and recognize relational health is the way to heal the planet.
  9. You suffered from the epidemic in our dominant culture of addiction to distraction and busyness.  “Exhausted” and “overwhelmed” are frequent complaints, up until now.
  10.  You avoided direct experience of the moment by chronic “doing” versus “being.” You crave having more time in your life for what matters most and you are ready to see that time is the great equalizer, we all have the same amount of it in any given day.

If you’re still reading this, you are ready to quit manufacturing your own suffering. Stop terrorizing yourself and start tenderizing your heart.

contact me for more info: [email protected]

There has never been a more important time to declare your Moonshot and surrender to Magic. You matter. Your relationships matter. Let’s connect in a deep dive to aim high and align with what matters most.

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Savor the Moment

trifecta of bliss

The little ditty came to me today. A reflection of the day…

Moments that matter 

Linger longer in my mind. 

Learning to savor the beauty 

Blessings not hard to find. 

Exhales of a humpback whale

Clouds gathering at sunrise

Dew drops in an iridescent spider web

Shimmers as a holographic dragonfly.

Moments are fleeting

Pausing. Breathing. Remembering. 

Taking in the good

With a simple humble greeting,

Aloha whale

Aloha cloud

Aloha spider

Aloha joy

And the creative juices are flowing from Hawaii Island to you, near or far…

Three juicy invites:

1. Join me Saturday 12/12 at Tara Galeano’s book launch party  

2. Join me Monday 12/14 at 11am Hawaii for our Last New Moon Zoom Room

Meeting ID: 808 936 3733
Passcode: Aloha

3. Join me Friday, December 18th sacred virtual space for our Solstice Gathering with a sharing of joys and sorrows. Rituals that nourish your heart. 

Meeting ID: 808 936 3733
Passcode: Aloha

Holding you high in my heart. Savor the moments the matter. Now. 

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Daily Tender Job Description

services relationship coaching

Appendix II from my transformational memoir

Moonshot: aim high, dive deep, live an extraordinary life

Daily Tender Job Description by Amy Elizabeth Gordon MA

Daily Tender is a simple position of ultimate and radical self-care. It’s a call to action in these unimaginable times. Here’s a quick list of the duties, responsibilities and privileges of this enlightened role.

  • Smile upon awakening.
  • Give thanks for this moment.
  • Stretch and massage. Make love, alone or with beloved.
  • Make the bed.
  • Relieve self of what is no longer needed by tapping into Source.
  • Brush teeth.
  • Dry skin brush and cold shower — most mornings.
  • Practice Yoga, daily.
  • Breathe, consciously, while the hot water in the tea kettle boils.
  • Meditate.
  • Consume yummy food and lots of love and hugs.
  • Tidy the kitchen.
  • Chore day Sunday.
  • Assemble hydration station every morning for tea, coffee, water.
  • Water garden (literally and figuratively).
  • Express thanks. Often.
  • Chant. Buddhist prayers, yoga prayers, Hawaiʻi prayers.
  • Sweep the floor, removing the dust of yesterday.
  • Exercise outdoors.
  • Exhibit discipline around tech. Adopt fairly strict media diet.
  • Write, create, make a mess.
  • Switch from the mentality of performance driven living of Do, Be, Have, to a new emphasis on ways of being with: Be, Do, Have.
  • Keep appointments with people. Be timely.
  • Coach and be coached.
  • Invest in wellbeing.
  • Cherish time with family.
  • Stop when triggered, drop what I’m doing, and breathe.
  • Deeply breathe.
  • Clean up my side of the street and set right wrongs I’ve made.
  • Allow space for grace to enter in a way that is indeed miraculous.
  • Express thanks. Yes, again.
  • Read inspiring words.
  • Play. Dance. Laugh: pepper these throughout the day.
  • Connect with friends on Wednesday, We-day, if not more often.
  • Surrender to what is.